Wondering how I'll cope

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this so be gentle with me.

I feel like I've lost everything and my stbx seems to have it all even though she's the one who caused all of this.

I'm also really apprehensive about living on my own for the first time in my life. Perhaps terrified is a better word.

Question though about divorce. If I start divorce proceedings, what will happen about everything - house/kids etc. I feel trapped in that I'm going to end up funding my ex-wife forever, although I do want my kids to be provided for.

Any help appreciated

Thanks

mark_otu wrote:

I'm new to this so be gentle with me.

Welcome Kermit.

Firstly; it's not an easy road, starting over; but there's plenty of people in similar circumstances here and reading through many of the threads will educate you as to what can happen. The Courts don't deal with blame, beyond reasons mentioned for divorce on the actual divorce application. After that - it's pretty much about finances. Blame is left aside.

If you post your financial details, ages of kids, ages of you and ex, equity in house, savings, pensions, length of marriage... etc

... you will get a ballpark figure of how things might be divided; and the liklehood of spousal support.

The relationship threads deal with much of the emotional stuff.

Hi Mark, welcome to Wikki, i'm sure you'll find some answers in here, everyone is helpful & supportive. Sorry you're going through all of this too, stay strong, but if you're not, just keep posting!
Cindygirl

Hallo

You will cope because you have to and you will emerge stronger for it.

Can't help with finances I'm afraid, but I have only just joined this site and it is very supportive. You are among friends.

Hi Mark

You haven't described the detail of your situation so I can't give you any specific advice

What I can say is that with support from friends and family you will get through what I know will right now seem like the end of the world for you.

I felt the same to you a few months ago when my wife of nearly 20 years left. At the time I felt devastated and that my world has come to an end. Since then I have spoken to a lot of people (friends, family, in chat here, and through the forums here)

My advice to you is to do the same and given time you will find that you will get through it and come out stronger. If your situation is anything like mine you may look back at your marriage and realise that in hindsight you weren't as happy as you thought you were.

If you need specific advice about finances etc there are a lot of very knowledgeable people on this site that can help.

If you need support at an emotional level use the chat, its a great way of interacting with others and although it seems daunting at first with all the colurs and mesages flying around its easy to pick up and everyone is very friendly

Hang in there!

Steve