Intro

Hi, Im new to this but have had a good look around the site and found some real interesting information.

I have been married for over 7 years. The relationship was not good for 4 years following an incident which I could not forgive him for. It had gotten to a point whereby he wanted children but I just could not bring myself to do it so this year we decided to separate. So far I have filled the petition, he has signed it and I have sent it back to the courts. It started of as amicable but recently he is being so nasty, vindictive and just awful. I moved out 2 weeks ago and went round to collect the last of my belongings - I have to say that that was probably one of the worst experiences I have been through. I feel violated - I had down download all my work from the computer - he did not allow me to touch the computer, he went through all the paperwork I had to collect. He had the police over to prevent a breach of the peace, yet all I wanted to do was just collect my bits. He also asked the neighbour to be there when I collected my bits. Throughout all of this I have not raised my voice, shouted or verbally abused him yet I was made to feel like a criminal.My head is pounding after him? I just had to vent!!

Poor you!

Even though my ex and I decided our marriage was dead, and agreed, as amicably as possible, to separate, things have been rather horrible on various occasions.

People feel rejected and threatened and retaliate by behaving badly.

It is horrible. You are not alone. I am in a different situation as I have been married 18 years (and lived with him for 31 years altogether) and we have two children. Ex left to live with someone else, and I was very hurt that a) he didn't have the dignity to leave and find his own place first and b) he didn't tell me about other woman till I dragged it out of him, even though we'd already discussed separating.

I still live with our children in the house, but it feels like I am being violated when he comes round and invades my space.

No end in sight, we wanted to divorce when children have grown up - youngest will be 18 in 4 years' time - and mortgage will be paid then too. But I really want to get out and find my own home which isn't full of things that remind me of our time together.

It's really sh**tty.

Girly wrote:

I just had to vent!!

Hi Girly,
You're amongst friends here at Wiki: We frequently Vent - with cherries on top!

Last year I suffered the indignity of police intervention. Ex's sols said if I so much as spoke to him, he could call the Police. He did, they got really p*ssed-off with him.

The whole process is not nice. One minute you're their best friend, lover, companion... the next you are a criminal, distrusted, and made to feel s**t.

Hi Girly, it sounds to me like your husband put you through all that just to punish you for leaving him. Its awful to end it that way when it could be done in a friendly manner.
I do feel for you & you have some good replies here, welcome to Wikki though, you're in a good place now,
Cindy