hello

Yoyo,

Welcome to wiki, sorry to hear about your situation.

I am in the process of splitting up after 20+ years - for similar reasons - we have just grown apart. We are also trying to keep things amicable. I am moving out in a couple of weeks when I get another house.

We went to counselling to deal with some of the emotional issues and I got a lot out of this - learned a lot about myself (which I think everyone else knew already).

We have now progressed onto mediation - where you are able to deal with things amicably, a mediator can guide both of you find an appropriate solution - we are at the end of this process and the final agreement is starting to get challenging as the reality hits home - but it is still a cost effective approach - we have spent £1000 on mediation so far - and it has been worth it.

There is a website that lists mediators round the country - I don't have this right this second - but it you pm me to remind me - I can dig this out for you.

One thing about any mediator or solicitor - you have to find one which matches your requirements - our mediator makes miss marple look like a villain and she is lovely - which helped keep my OH on board - but very sharp as well.

I am wary about solicitors working for big firms - I prefer the invidual touch - with fewer conflicts of interest.

The financial reality for both you and your OH will be tough - probably worse than you think and DEFINITELY worse than your OH thinks (trust me - I'm a guy who is still learning) - you will get child tax credit which will help.

I hope this helps

Good luck

Dadsrus

hi yoyo...

just wanted to welcome you to wiki..

i read the bit about you not wanting to moan etc, everyone here has their own issues to deal with in one way or another, but everyone needs support however bad or not that it is for them, if you get where im coming from......

im really glad for you that you are both in agreement with everything, its a shame it cant be that way for everyone..

anyway, everyones here for you yoyo, so whenever your ready maybe come to the chat room....it can be a break from the emotions for a while...

take care

Daisy
xxx