Does it get easier??

Hi ((((((Gemma)))))))

Yes, it does get easier.
15 month ago I would habe not believed it and hated people who said: "Time heals".
I thought I can never heal.
I had panic attacks, did not go out at all.
I reckon for at least 8 month I was in some kind od mental limbo, I hardly remember anything from that time apart from that I functioned somehow. I still find emails I cant remember writing.
Me too went back to University, how I passed the first year is beyond me..I cant remember anything I learned.

After about 8 month things became a bit less hazy, I went out several times with some girl friends, sniped myself a opera ticket on ebay and cared enough about me to get a new haircut (as opposed to not wash my hair sometimes for days).
I am still not happy but I am happier so I am on the right path .
If I can come over the shock that my hubby left me after 24 years out of the blue.. so will you. Just trust in yourself and most important.. give yourself as much time to heal as you feel you need.

thanks for your replys everyone.
You know when something bad happens and you wake up in the morning and you have forgotten, then you remember and it hits you like a slap in the face, well this morning i didnt even have a few seconds of thinking everything was ok, i woke up and felt it straight away. Im back in work on Monday, been on holiday this week, and im dreading it, it might not be so bad if my friend was in work because i know she would help me get through it day by day but she's off sick at the moment.
I came home this morning to get my uniform ready and he's being so nice, i just want to smack him in his face, but i know that wont help anything, he's told me he loves me and will always care about me, he's just not in love with me anymore, daft thing is when he was putting me through everything he has i fell out of love with him a little bit, but didnt do anything about it because i was scared for him, i should have just gone with my heart and done what he's done to me.
All my friends have been really good, texting me and checking up on me, my mum has phoned me a million times lol, they all keep telling me i can do better, that doesnt really help, but i know they mean well.

Gemma an all to familiar story as you are probably reading in the posts. At Wiki everyone gives their opinion and you can take it or leave it as you feel. I however found that I didn't want to believe people and their ideas but believe me most of the posts have all held something which has turned out to be true in the course of things. I wont advise you as there are better people on here than me. I will say that your post sayng that you are in a dark corner is only to familar. We have all been there. But if you look you should see a light switched on somewhere. It is hard to find and sometimes the shut door is stopping you from seeing it. Find the handle. Open the door and walk towards that light whatever it may represent.In your case it might be Uni. Be open to new experiences whatever they may be. Ive found myself in situations I could never have imagined. Some good, some bad. Reject the bad..follow the good. We all know how hard it is when this happens so feel free to pivate message anyone and they will help you through this whicheber way it goes. Promise. Take care Polar.

Hallo Gemma

All this is still very recent and raw and you are going through a turmoil of shock, disbelief, denial, anger and grief. All normal, but horrid anyway.

I suggest you take up uni. It will give you something to focus on and help you to think about your future.

My husband and I have been together 31 years and married for 18, with 2 teenage boys.

He became more distant, and last year was out most weekends staying with "mates" none of whom seemed to have names.

March I said I thought we ought to separate. I raised the topic, but was relieved when he agreed, though we decided to wait until elder son had done GCSEs.

April I got him to admit he had another woman. I had to collude in his deception in front of the kids, which I think has damaged my relationship with them. I felt dirty and deceitful and furious that husband was such a pathetic coward that he couldn't have just told me straightaway when I mentioned separation.

I have had some very bad days and am now on anit-depressants.

What I find really hard is that he comes over to the house to collect post, see the kids etc and just wants to chat to me as though we are mates, telling me about what a great time he's having. I mean, does he think I will be pleased for him???!!!

Anyway, I suggest you do some things you want to do, fix up some social activities to look forward to.

And keep coming to this site, there's always someone about.

Hi Gemma,

Join my club!! What happened to you happened to me almost identically in July and my husband is going round as is he hasnt a care in the worls as well- I think its just their way of dealing with it all.

I am hoping, like you that things do get easier and I am probably like you still spinning round wondering what the hell happened- You arent alone, thats one thing I've worked out over the last couple of weeks and both you and I and everyone reading this WILL get through it and in a little time we'll look back at all this and realise that maybe it happened for a reason!!!!

take care thinking of you

Lucy

Hi Lucy, i hope so, ive always believed that things happen for a reason, i just wish i knew the reason for this and why its happened. Guess ill find out in time.