Hi everyone, ive been sat here 5 mins now thinking about what to say, so ill just start from the very beginning. I met my husband 11 years ago, we were both very young, me 15 him 17.
We married 3 years ago, and up until a few months ago had been trying for children with no luck, although now i think maybe its a good job.
So anyway for the past few weeks i felt that he was becoming more and more distant, his mobile which he usually just left around anywhere was suddenly always in his pocket.
I asked him if he was ok and if we were ok, his reply was 'yes course it is why wouldnt it be?'
So i just left it at that, then i few days later when i was going to bed at about 1am the phone rang, i didnt get to the phone in time to answer it, so i dialled 1471 and it was a mobile number that i didnt know.
my husband was at work by the way. The next morning i thought id have a look at his contacts on his phone to see if it was someone he knew, only there was a text on his phone, it said it was from one of his mates so i thought rather than wake him id read it to see if it was important, only when i opened the message i saw that it was from the number that had phoned earlier, i got a bit suspiscious as the guy he had the number under would have been at work with him at the time so why would be be ringing him. The message said something along the lines of, 'morning babes, miss you, wish you where here xx' i saw red and woke him up, i asked him why his mate would be phoning at 1am and then sending him a text like that, he said it was a joke and his mate was just messing around, mmmmmmm yeah because thats what normal do right??
so i thought ok, ill go with that, but told him to tell his mate that i didnt think it was very funny.
A few days later it was our 3rd wedding anniversary and for the first time ever i didnt get a card from him.
This was on the Wednesday, Sunday following was my birthday, we went out for a meal with my family then we met some friends and went for some drinks, on the way home he stood on my toe, and i came out with a few swear words and he stormed off, when we got home, for some reason he went straight into the spare room and got in bed (with his phone) i asked him why, we had a bit of a row, he told me some things cant really remember what he said, but i got very upset and ended up having a panic attack, never had one before in my life, it really scared us both. We had a chat and he told me that he didnt feel happy in the marraige anymore, and basically said to me that if i wasnt going to give uni up (i start in 3 weeks to do a 3 year nursing course) and start a family then he didnt know if he could be with me, i told him he was being unfair, as ive never stopped him doing anything. i ended up trying to sleep in the spare bed that night. The next day we didnt speak till in the evening, when we kinda sorted things out, we decided that we would give it a go and wait to have a family.
Everything was ok until at 9:30am the next morning, he'd gone out and the number rang again, turns out he had his mobile on divert to our landline.
When he came back at 4pm i told him about the call, i told him to ring his mate to see what he wanted as he hadnt rang back since, he wouldnt do it, so i told him id do it, he told me not to and that he would, so he walks into the next room and comes back 2 seconds later saying there is no answer, i told him there wouldnt be if he didnt let it ring, i was getting a bit angry by now because i knew he was lying, he got a bit angry and said, 'ok, it is a woman, we are just friends'
so why have her number under a guys name, if they are just friends.
He promised me they were just friends that he's only met her once or twice he cant quite remember haha thats laughable, he's only know her 2 weeks apparently.
Ive been angry, sad, humiliated, since i found out.
The day after he told me about her, he told me that he didnt feel like there was anything left in our marriage. And that he didnt know if he wanted us to work things out because he felt that i would never forgive him and would always throw it back at him.
He went out for a few hours with his mate to help him move home, so i arranged to go down to my mums, i left him a note telling him how i felt, and i got a text a bit later from him telling me to come home, so i did, and he told me he was sorry and that he had a good think about things and wanted us to work it out.
He went to work later and came home and things seemed a bit tense again i asked him what was up and he told me he didnt love me as much as he used to and wanted to be on his own, thats when my heart broke.
Its so hard i feel like im never going to be happy again, i start uni in 3 weeks and im dreading it now.
We've got a lot of financial issues at the moment aswell.
It really hurts that ive stuck by him the way i have over the last few years, he's been very ill and spent quite a lot of time in hospital, i was there by his side, he got into trouble and nearly ended up in jail, i was there by his side.
He said he wants to stay friends, which i do to because we have a lot to sort out, our house is currently on the market, we were going to move into my parents whilst i was at uni, now im going to be going there on my own, i have no single friends so its not like i can go out with them. I think im still in denial to be honest with you.
He's acting like there is nothing wrong and it hurts me because he doesnt seem to be hurting, we were so happy.
Sorry ill stop now, or i never will.
