heartbroken

Dear W

Its so hard to say anything that might help you because there are so any reasons why you should be sad.

The concept of having your home, family and life partner in your husband turned on its head in this way, makes you feel very vulnerable.

If he is for real in terms of wanting this, what does he expect to happen next? Where does he think you will go, why does he think you will just roll over and give up on your life?

Heartbroken cant sum up how you might be feeling, but its a good start I guess, I was in that way when I accepted that my relationship was over, the next steps are equally tough, but they include working out what next, what does this really mean.

eep posting, there are many people here who will share what they can to support you.

Good luck

GM

HI Wilbie

Welcome to wiki - IM so sorry that you have need to be here, but you are in a good place place to receive lots of support, advice, help and friendship.

Stay put - this is your home too, and your children need the continuity of thier mum being there for them. Not matter what he says, you have a legal right to remain within your home.

Things are still extremely raw for you, your emotions will be scattered to the four winds, and thinking clearly wont be easy. (been there). Please dont make any hasty arrangements that you may come to regret in the cold light of day.

He is threatening you by saying that if you wont leave the children with him by you moving out, he will gain them half the time. This is a bullying tactic to force your hand to move out of your home, Child contact and living arrangements dont work like that, its about what is best for the children.

I urge you to seek legal advcie ASAP, the National Family Law Practice number can be found at the top of this page, they will give you at least a 30 min free phone consultation, and give you some advice and guidance as to what your options are. Once you have some clarity on where you stand legally, you will be able to think a little clearer, and know whats what.

You have been placed in an impossible situation, and not of your own doing, remember that you havent done anything wrong.

We are here for you, just yell if you need us, or pop into the chatroom, you will be made very welcome.

Keep posting

Take Care

Ruby x

Wilbie, i totally understand where your coming from when you say he looks more happy and relaxed now, thats my husband all over, and i think thats one of the reasons it hurts so much, i just hope that one day soon we will look back at the the words of support and advice and be able to say yes you were right it does get easier and i will be happy, we deserve to be happy, we have done nothing wrong, id probably find it easier if i had done something wrong then at least id only have myself to blame but like for you thats not the case. xx

Hi Goodman/Rubytuesday

My husband in some ways seems to have it all mapped out - he will buy me (and children) a new home and support us. However several times he has said he hadn't planned to say what he did, and that he doesn't have a plan, that he is also taking each day as it comes. Based on this, i am living in hope that there is a slight chance of sorting things out. I have told him i am not going anywhere in the short term, as I try to come to terms with all of this. I am not yet ready to accept it's over and will be using this time with him to try to establish what has gone wrong and why he is so determined that it can't be put right. Am I fooling myself??

HI W

No you arent fooling yourself, just trying to make sense of what has happened to shake your world to its very foundations.

have you thought about couple counselling - there is obviously more to your husband's change of heart than you can see.

However, sadly, it takes to make a marraige, and if one person is set on not making it work, then there is little the other can do. Sounds to me like there is a lot going on with your husband that he isnt telling you.

Ruby

Hi Wilbie, i'm so sorry you are going through this, you must be devastated! If i were you i would stay put, sleep in seperate rooms & tell him you are NOT having the childrens lives disrupted without serious thinking & planning. He has the problem, not you, if its so bad he should leave for awhile to sort his head out. I hope its just a mid-life crisis & he sees sense, but we are here to support you through all of this, keep in touch,
Cindy

Hi Wilbie,
I agree with Cindygirl. Stay put. Keep with your separate rooms and lives, do the day to day living, be there but not all over him. he may calm down and realise what he is losing.

I really feel for you. the pain is unbearable I know. Your children are so young, you'd think he would try to keep the marriage going until they are older.

Men I'll never understand them.
Probably stuff going on in his life that you don't know about.

be watchful.
((((hugs))))
Carrie