My story so far

Its very positive that she will attend counselling with you. No doubt it will be difficult, but it could be helpful.
I wish you luck

So let me see if I have got this right, she has been unfaithful but somehow she is managing to push most of the blame onto you.Don't you be feeling guity about HER behavior.

Hi Mark
So sorry to hear about your story esp. since it is mine on the other site..and I know exactly what you are going through
I found reading through the posts in this forum here:

www.midlifeclub.com/

very helpful, even if I did not write a lot. But I think it will make you understand a lot about her fears, their irrational behaviour and at the same time why she still loves you and don’t want to let you go..
Please don’t be put off by the introduction written for women.. there are a lot of men there who experience exactly the same and chat and exchange..
Maybe your marriage will bounce back..it would not be the first one who comes out of it much stronger and more satisfying.