What's in store ?

Hi all new user here !
already taking some comfort from reading that many of you guys have been through similar experiences to myself and nade it through the other side.
I've been with my wife for 14 years and married for 9 . We have 2 kids aged 7 & 5 .
She told me 10 days ago that she no longer loved me and wished to leave .
I spent the next 8 days being a text book dad and husband but stressing I did not expect anything back in a vain attempt to simply get her to stay .
she then informed me yesterday that she had in fact been seeing someone else from work for the past 4 months .
To say I was shocked was an understatement but when she told me it was another woman I almost fainted !!
This other girl had stayed in my house several times when I'd been working .

Anyway , hopefully we have an agreement that I will stay in the house and she'll leave ( a house we only bought 10 months ago at her request leaving me mortgaged up to the eyeballs) . She will leave all furniture and I will be the main carer for the kids (result if true) . She says she will be unable to contribute to their keep but the extra benefits I'll receive should cover any shortfall .
I assume from this that she is prepared to surrender her share of the marital assets but will have a clearer idea when I talk to both her and my solicitor tomorrow .

Thoughts and opinions please and thanks for listening .

p.s. - is it true that the legal definition of adultery only applies if sexual contact is made with a member of the opposite sex?

Poor you - this has to be the equivalent of the male midlife crisis. What mother leaves their children and puts herself first!! i can identify with being mortgaged up to the hilt. We bought a bigger property 18 months ago - his idea. Get some legal advice asap as I am sure she must have to contribute financially. Don't assume she will surrender her share of the marital assets. Hold on to the belief that you are the better parent ! The best part of my marriage have been my children. ~They are with me and not him. I have the bad times - yes - but so many of the ordinary and good times that he is missing out on. Best wishes.

hi welcome to wiki,i am sure some will reply to this .I do nto know the answer.Come to chat ,it helps quite a lot.Do not just have informal agreement make sure everything is legal.
Most probably the children are better with you.
You will get over it ,she have the guilt with her for ever

Wecome to Wiki. I'm sure you will find some useful information and get some invaluable help here.

My best mate had the exact same thing happen to him. His wife left him for another woman. He is a pyschotherapist and thought he could talk his way out of his mess. He didn't manage to do it alone, he needed his friends for support, so stick around here as we are your friends!

It's just over a year since his wife left, he has moved on, she is still living with her lover and they are quite mserable together. (He finds this rather amusing actually, that he turns out to be the happy one)

I'm in the same boat as most people on here, suffered a massive shock and blow to the system when my wife announced she was leaving. Reading other's stories helps, even if they turn out not the way I hope my life will. Most of them are in a happier place given enough time.

Take care, and have an open rant on here if you want, it may help you to 'let it all out'.

Hi lightouts


is it true that the legal definition of adultery only applies if sexual contact is made with a member of the opposite sex?

Yes it is true.

Your wife having this relationshp can be classed as Unreasonable behaviour.

Thanks guys !
can relate to some of the stuff said . I honestly believe her and her new lover will end up miserable also but that could just be wishful thinking !
As for the kids , I've always thought I could be a better dad . Don't get me wrong , I've always done the swimming classes , the parents evenings and the Sunday at the playzone . Now though , I am totally focussed on them so if anything good will come of this it's that my kids will get a new and improved father .

Thanks .