no one

I am new to the site. just come across it by accident when I was so down and felt that my world just collapsed and my so called friends who said initially, "we will be there for you" are nowhere to be found. I am from Southeast Asia, came to the UK and got married to an Englishman who is 10 years my senior. Thought we had a happy marriage, despite no children. We have been married 20 years. Then few months ago, one Saturday evening he turned to me and said that he is now facing 3rd phase of his life (he's 55) and he does not see any future with me. My world collapsed, soon found out that he is "fond" of someone else. He wanted to move on with someone else and yet he wanted to wait before getting a divorce. I went to see a solicitor and on the grounds of adultery and unreasonable behaviour I was able to file for divorce proceedings. My divorce is going through at the moment. At the moment I am feel lonely and alone despite being surrounded by people. Will this feeling ever end???

Welcome to the site-

You will find much support and friendship here.

Yes, this feeling will end.

Let him move on- its his choice, and doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you.

If he is so selfish and uncommited, he does not deserve you- let him go.

One day- and it may be soon- you will , if you want to , be with someone decent, who apreciates who you are, and values you.

Yes, you feel in grief now, but that is normal and part of a healthy recovery,

You have been let down, but you can move forward.

Just endure, and look after yourself in the small ways. You will feel better little by little.

There is always someone on this site to give you encouragement. Take care-

xx

Welcome to Wiki,

It's true you certainly find out who your true friends are when you come to something like marital breakdown. The type of people who say they will be there for you and when the going gets tough they also get going. Only a true friend will be willing to go through the emotional rollercoaster that you are currently going through. As others will probably, no doubt say, it does get better with time. You learn to adjust to the emptiness that you feel inside. You come to terms with the hurt that you have been put through, you may not understand the whys and the wherefores. You have to just take it in little bits, one tiny step at a time. You will feel sometimes that you are taking two steps forward only to take three backwards. It does feel like that - coming on here helps. Reading blogs and replying in time to other people when they introduce themselves, when its where you were only a few months ago. It takes someone to go through what you are to know how you feel. We are here for you, you write on here whatever you feel like writing and there will always be someone around to reply to your problems.

Take Care

Moon

Hallo

It's hard to face a breakup, especially when one partner has emotionally moved on and found someone else.

You're left thinking that the relationship you thought you had was not the one he thought he had. You question your beliefs and begin to wonder who you are. You grieve for the lost relationship, the relationship you thought you had, the one you might have had in the future.

It will get better. If your old friends aren't around to help - and maybe they don't know what to do - then find some new ones.

Be your own best friend and do for yourself what you'd like a friend to do.

Hi Chasy, welcome to Wikki. Yes you will feel better nowthat you are amongst friends here. So many of us have situations similar to yours and find it hard to move on. There is so much love & support in here that you can say anything you like about how you feel & there will always be someone to listen.
I'm also going through divorce after a long childless marriage & often feel alone, just as you do. Ive started to realise now though that i'm lonely for a NEW man in my life, not for my hubby back. I feel i'm almost ready to give someone else a chance but i want to wait a little longer until the divorce is finalised, hopefully before xmas.
Keep posting, you will gain much needed strength from these wonderful wikki members,
Cindy

Hi Chasy. Yes it will go. But you need to give it time. People can so cruel cant they? You gave this man all these years and you dont get to reap the rewards of long and loyal service. But he is no good. There are no phases of life. Tell that to someone that has lost there life at 10, 15 or 20 years old. He is having a midlife (old age) crises and thinks the grass is greener. It will be his loss and in the long run your gain (it dont look like it at the mo I know) in the long run. C