Hi & help me please, I don't know what to do next.

Hi all

I did post a couple of months ago but Ive not got any further... with anything

I told my husband 5 months ago that it is over. Long story but he had an affair 4 years ago and I found out about lots more inappropriate contact with women again last year. Finally found the guts to say I want a divorce. Have been sticking with it for sake of our 2 daughters, 10 and 11 and stepson 18.

He is still not willing to accept that it is over. Says that I can't make him leave. He doesn't want a divorce and say that he won't co-operate in something he doesn't agree with.

I've been to see a solicitor so am clued up. Have their suggestions on how to move forward. Possibly give him money to buy a house. But he is not willing to discuss anything.

I've suggested we go to mediation, but I don't know if he is far enough down the road for this yet.

Any help would be appreciated.

When going through my divorce my (now) ex wife refused point blank to agree with the divorce - I had to wait for the five year separation with one party not consenting to be used as grounds for divorce (although you may be able to file for adultery if there is sufficient evidence and if its the road you want to go down.) Even if you try for mediation (which the court may insist on) if he fails to attend then the mediator will sign the form stating this is the case and the judge will be able to see you tried....

Not sure if this is the answer you were looking for but hope it helps a bit

You'll need to use Unreasonable Behaviour as the grounds.

The examples don't have to be that dramatic.

Unless someone is going to agree to using adultery it is best avoided as without admission almost impossible to prove.

Slightly late reply but thank you.

May I ask, did you have to move out of your home? I am thinking if he won’t leave then I will have to.

Does the 5 years start from when you move out?

WYSPECIAL wrote:

You'll need to use Unreasonable Behaviour as the grounds.

The examples don't have to be that dramatic.

Unless someone is going to agree to using adultery it is best avoided as without admission almost impossible to prove.

The UB grounds are what's commonly used in these cases.

Given what you say, blacktulip, it would appear that he would contest the divorce petition, and that is his right to do.

While spouses often threaten to contest, they usually don't. Contesting involves not only disagreeing with your petition but actually paying a fee and filing a defence. If your husband does do that it falls on you to prove that his behaviour was such that no reasonable person would expect you to live with him.

If he does file a defence and is committed to defending the divorce it will rack up considerable bills for both parties - unless they are acting as litigants in person - and you can expect substantial delays in getting to a Decree Nisi. You also run the risk of losing and having to pay his costs though, from what you say, you may have a very good case.

You say that you've seen a solicitor. I've spoken with over a dozen to date and the impression I'm left with is that most are not very good. Make sure you've got a good 'un.

Thank you