Just joined

This is the first divocre forum I felt I wanted to join, having seen several.

Me: In the midst of an unpleasant divorce. Have had a very stressful time legally regarding the children and residence. Wary of posting some of the details here as I am sure they are unusual, even anonymised, and my s2bx might recognize the case!

Have solicitors I've been happy with so far. Every bit of advice they've given so far has proved to be true. Very impressed actually, apart from the bills.

Thing that appalls me most about this whole business is the cost to a family when the separating parties cannot agree, especially when the dispute is over the children. The losers are the family as a whole. There has to be a better way.

I totally agree, I feel... although many will argue, that Scottish law seems much better to do with splitting marriages. The system in England just doesn't seem fair at all.

Dear Somebody

Welcome to Wiki and i hope that you will find the site helpful. It is a great site and has a chatroom also. When you feel ready why don`t you come into chat and get to meet us. Everyone is lovely and you will be able to ask any questions in there is you like.

Take care

Saffy x

Thanks for your kind messages. I may well just do that at some point. My story is certainly an interesting one if not hair raising.

Welcome.
One positive for you is that you have solicitors you trust, thats going to help.

Read Marsh's post about the mountain - lots of good advice for surviving there

Hallo and welcome.

My husband and I have separated 2 months ago after 31 years together, 18 married, and we have 2 teenage children. We don't intend to get divorced until mortgage on MH is paid and youngest child is 18, in 4 years' time.

But from what I've read on here and have heard from friends going through it, the divorce procedure is stupid.

For starters, since if one person wants to end the marriage the other one can't prevent it, it seems stupid that one has to petition and the other respond.

Much better to say that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Since no one is interested in the reasons its silly that you have to specify them unless you've been separated 2 years.

There should be a legally-binding sorted out formula for working out finances which is easy for everyone to understand, which should save all the wrangling and mud-slinging which serves only to benefit the solicitors involved and waste the court's time (and the public's money).

Good luck.

Agree that for a couple who are amicably agreeing to separate + divorce the system is almost designed to force one of them to be aggrieved. Just the fact that someone has to be the petitioner ('accuser') and the other the respondent ('accused') is bad enough.

There really ought to be a simple procedure for both parties to apply, together, to have the marriage ended in a way that treats them totally equally. If both parties are prepared to file statements saying they believe the marriage to have irretrievably broken down, that should be all that is needed for a divorce to then occur without delay.

Though it would not have helped me, as my divorce is based on my ex's unreasonable behaviour.