Hello to all here

Hi - just today recieved the solicitors letter from my wife (petitioner and claiming costs) and feeling a bit unsure of what to do next, if you will excuse the long post i'll try and flesh it all out ( I have been lurking around the forum for a while but need to try and get things straight in my head.)

So, my wife and I are both 54, I left the FMH in January this year after 23 years and 9 months marriage, We have a child of 24 who is independant and another of 16 (17 in August) who lives in FMH and attends college, can't live with me as i'm in a caravan at my brother's, though they could stay occasionally but choose not to (can't blame them as it has been chilly until recently).

My income as a registered nurse is £2160 p.m plus overtime (so can average about 2500p.m total), her's about £360 p.m self employed working very few hours a week

House and my pension is only worthwhile assets:
PMH worth about £120000 mortgage outstanding £49500ish
My pension - not yet got a CETV for the main part of it - a guesstimate might be CETV of £200000
We have a loan taken out while married of £7000 ish and I took out £19,950 when I left in order to set up elsewhere.

I had made an offer to her to pay £1750 a month to cover the mortgage/bills/child support for a few years until she was independant and child 19 y.o, was thinking of signing over the house to her but getting her to change to an interest only payment, using the savings (450 p.m) to reduce what was going to her and to pay for me to have somewhere to live (which is another long story), we would seperate and use on line service (such as through this site) to finalise things with divorce and come to financial settlement. (I accept it would include a part of my pension)

Last week she asked to meet and told me that she was seeking the divorce (unreasonable behaviour as grounds) and this week the solicitors letter has arrived.

I appealed to her to contact me - as I think she thinks I have a huge pension to relieve me half of and that I was thinking of retiring soon! (pension age for pensions is 60 and 67) She has not.

Feeling a bit like I may have been gulible over all this - feel free to tell me if so - do people think it is better to let the whole thing now go (with the resultant costs c£7K all in if I'm lucky) or fight on the basis that I made a good offer and she has chosen to take this more expensive route?

Very grateful for all responses and advice.

Looks like there is 70k equity in the house and your pension of 200k, which gives a total pot of 270k minus the 7K loan so 263k. 50:50 split would be 131.5k each.

If she got 100% of the house equity you are still around 60k short of 50:50.

If you paid 1.5k a month (excluding child maintenance) for the mortgage bills etc, this amounts to 36k, so another 24k would be needed for a 50:50 split. You might be able to take this out of your pension when you turn 55 is push came to shove, as lawyers for settlement of finances in court are expensive. Obviously you could offer less than 24k as a cash payment, as she has all the house equity and you need somewhere to live yourself.

You need to get the CETV of your mortgage to give a clearer picture of the situation, as you say the 200k is a guesstimate.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Thanks so much for the reply Vigorate, that makes sense figures wise. I didn't realise that the 'maintenance' I would pay can be counted in the settlement.

To clarify, don't call it "spousal maintenance" in the Consent Order. Characterize it as "Payments for the mortgage/accommodation" with a fixed ending date. This way it is not "maintenance", with all the legal ramifications that come along with it.

You should aim to avoid having spousal maintenance included in the consent order to the maximum extent possible.

Ok, thanks very much for the tip.

Hmm. Financial settlement is sbout needs, not just numbers.

The first priority is housing any dependent children. The parties are slso expected to maximise their incomes. This may mean claiming benefits and/or working more hours. Is tgere a reason she does not work and earn more??

How big is the house? As the older child is independent the strict need for each of you is a two bed place. This need not be owned. If you could buy a two bed for a lot less and reduce thr mortgage, that shoukd be considered. NB There is nothing to stop you living in the FMH if you can afford to do so. She may do better renting if she has benefits income.

Spousal maintenance is based on need and ability to pay. It would impact on any benrfits she gets. The amount you are proposing to pay, even short term, would never be agreed as part of an order. It is far too much.

You do need to pay child maintenance. This is a statutory requirement. For one child i think it is roughly 12% of gross pay. You can check the child maintenance calculator.

You may need to pay the mortgage in the short term especially if it is in joint names as arrears would affect your credit rating. If she was to stay in the house she should pay the costs of doing so and, as above seek work and/or claim benefits.

Are you able to take on the whole mortgage and perhaps raise some cash to give her a share? What exactly is your current housing situation?

The pension should be split between you.

I think you need to get your pension CEV asap but be aware the NHS ones usually take three months to arrive.

She needs to sort out what benefits she can claim and if she esnts to stay put start contributing to the running costs.

You need to work out child benefit and start paying it NB the figure is a minimum, you can pay more. cChild benefit does not affect universal credit.

I would also advise you to get some legal advice before agreeing finally to anything. You can always give the helpline a call.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks for that full reply and useful info Hadenoughnow, yes the NHSBSA say three months unless you are willing to pay extra to get it quicker, She has now agreed to pay costs for the 'fixed cost' divorce proceedings but this does not include a financial settlement.
She can (when CoVid allows) work more hours, and I have said that this is necessary to allow us both to get by.
I'm currently in a caravan on my brother's land so no major outgoings except a contribution to bills. The house is potentially 3 bed but in need of some work to get to that position hence it's low value now (I couldn't imagine finding a two bed for any less money)
I am paying the mortgage but want to reduce that by paying interest only as soon as possible.
I will give the helpline a call as you suggest.