hi everyon!

Hi I am Debbie a recently seperated 41 year old mum with one daughter and 2 dogs still at home. (as said the third one just left lol). I work part time and have my own house and car.

My husband has been unfaithful throughout our marriage but has just done it again at a time when I had serious family problems and really needed him to be there for me.

I have forgiven him before but never again. He is proof that men such as him cannot change their spots - he is selfish,cruel and heartless.

So now I need to re evaluate my life. I love my family (3 elder ones left home but visit often) and my job too, I work with single mums suffering from mental health problems.

This was enough for me but I now Im alone realise I need more - a brand new social life all of my own! Thats my aim for now - to meet lots of new people as a single person - men and women who are funny ,kind and want to enjoy life.

Serious relationships are the last thing I am looking for right now - I want to enjoy being single and learn to love myself and my own company with like minded people. Im thinking of joing a walking club first - I love the countryside and he hated it.

I like being a mum - cooking, looking after the house and having fun with my kids but I also like me time. A nice meal in or out, country pubs, occasional boogie in a hot club in town. i love shopping and making my home nice. I live for my holidays - I love to expereince new people cultures.

Im not particularly materialistic - if my bills are paid, kids fed and we all wear decent clothes on our backs and have one good holiday a year then im happy.

I look forward to getting to know you allas we support each other on this sad but exciting path to a new life!

Hallo and welcome

There's a saying "if one woman isn't enough, 50 ain't too many".

You sound as though you are adjusting quite well. My husband left in July this year. I'd asked him to leave before and finally in March he agreed we'd be better off separated. In May he confessed he had another woman. Left in July after son had done GCSEs.

I've gone through the mill a bit, feeling very angry, mourning our lost relationship plus the one we might have had in the future.

Now 16 year old son has opted out of education and is mooching about with mates in similar position, not really thinking about getting a job.

I feel I am losing him emotionally, as well as my husband. So I'm on antidepressants and seeing a counsellor weekly, which is helping.

I have been catching up with friends and enjoying being on my own and rediscovering who I am.

thanks no regrets - ive just reread my original post and it does come across that i am coping very well but the reality is lots has happened and i am getting lots of support.
As I said he has done this many times over the past 10 years - just disapearing sometimes for5 a few days longest 3 months. I honestly think i hav eno tears left for him. im not shocked. i also am also on antidepressants and receiving councelling. All this is to do with the family problems I was experiencing before he left - they are now slowly being resolved and I am so pleased about that - the enormous pain and torment those problems caused me do not compare to how I felt when he did his latest runner.
The thing is I have been hurt by him many many times and always forgiven him. I have recently expereinced pain caused by someone else I love enough to die for - now that is being resolved I simply do not care if I never see my stbe again.
But im proof things can work out - think positive and the bad times do pass. Thinking of you.
Debbie x

Good for you Debbie, and welcome to Wikivorce.

It is so important for some of the new users to realise that this horrible process and period of our lives does eventually pass and get better.

Sounds like you have had a rough time of it - why not write a blog of how you got to where you are? Very theraputic and great inspiration for other users. Oh and it gives us something to talk to you about in the chat room

Welcome aboard

Mike

thanks Mike. I do not honestly feel like sitting and recounting a blog righ tnow - I know it helps some people but im sick of hearing about my problems at the moment. I think this is a fab site and hope to visit often getting to know people and you me slowly. I wouldnt know where to start to start with a blog though i hope these 2 posts go some way to explainin gmy current situation.
Maybe one day i shall have a moment where I need to sit down and get it all out in one big blog (that I fear would bore most of u 2 tears lol) but not just yet. hope u all understand - i think its because im having counselling, its excellent but very tiring. I think its something to being a wife and a mum too - I dont think we are used to focussing on ourselves that often so it can be difficul tto do so - a shame but a truth I think?

Blogs aren't mandatory

I know exactly what you mean though. When you are bringing up a family, your personal needs are usually the last to be fulfilled. If you have an errant or missing partner, even less so.

Chat is a great place to get to know people and to help a few of the less surefooted find their way around their own personal nightmares.

You do what suits you!

Nice to say Hi

Mike