Dont know where to start??

Hello,

I dont know if anyone can help or just wants to chat. Stupidly I got married when I feel pregnant with our son, it just seemed the right thing to do, we had been living together for 6 months, when I found out i was pregnant!! Anyway we got married, and it was the biggest mistake of my life, we have nothing in common, he bores me, and half the time I cant stand being in the same room as him. He hates the fact that I am trying to better myself. He has put on over 2 stone, and he is just so clumsy and annoys me, he does not take pride in anything, he is just embarrassing. If it was not for my son, then I would just jump off a bridge, I am only 23 and feel like my life is over, but he is not violent or an alcoholic and has never cheated, but he is so condesending and full of himself but I have no grounds for divorce. I could not ask for a greater dad for my son, but i just feel so miserable and do not know what to do - please help

HI YAC,

I think your questions would be best answered if you popped into the chat room.

You are 23 and if the worst thing that has happened to you in your life is to live a couple of years with a fat bore then you have been a very, very lucky person; please believe me.

As a matter of interest, how long have you been married and how old is your son now?

YA

I had the same sort of problem about 18 years ago, yes I'm old... I carried on and had another 4 children with the same man. Alot of things went on in between that, but I won't discuss that now... I didn't go to my doctor for help, because at the time I used to get annoyed with my new born daughter too, I loved her to bits, but I resented her at the time for being there and making me marry him lol. She didnt make me marry him... I married him! I should have gone to the doc at the time and talked about it, got some advice, but I didn't... don't go the same road as me... go to your doctor, ask for help and get some advice.

Hi, welcome to Wikki. i guess many have gone down the same road as you have, marrying for the sake of children, some stick at it until the kids are older & some leave much sooner! I think if you're so unhappy with him then you need to talk to him, try counselling or have some time to yourself on a regular basis. Maybe you could take up a hobby or go to college? Hope this helps a little,
Cindy

hello YAC! at least you have been brave enough to start the conversation!

get counselling together and see if there are things you can agree on and do together. if he really is such a good dad then surely that is a good thing, worth keeping? it is easy to be sitting on your own feeling miserable, getting angry and blaming everyone else for how things have gone for you. we are all masters of our own destiny however out of control we think we are.

he may be as depressed as you which is why he has become a fat bore! there was more in it when you met? can't have been a fat bore then? perhaps there is a way of recognizing what has gone wrong, at least discuss it with him with a 3rd party in counseling and you might see stuff you didn't know was there. keep at it for your sake and that of your son!