Hi to you all

I am just starting to divorce my second husband, like so many people he was to be my soul mate for ever.
We even eloped and got married in Vegas.
My emotions have become highly charged in a very complicated
situation of my husbands doing. The divorce is to uncontested.
Our children from our previous marrages are all grown up and are out there living there own lives.
I am in a state of panic at the moment and just wondering why all this had to happen.

Hi Daisy
Sorry your here but welcome to Wiki.

I think we all wonder what happened and ask ourselves ''why we are here''

Dont think any of us know the real reason why we are here but now your here you will meet lots of good caring people who will help you along the road

Take care

Phoenix1

Welcome to wiki. a wacky world! you won't feel lonely here! some very good people here so stick with it, almost any question seems to generate some sort of reply, much collective wisdom!

we all here seem to ask ourselves the same question. we are all sad that our dream and expectation that we will live and work together and go through the ups and downs of life together and support each other, has fallen apart.

but the thing that has got me through! not there yet!!! correct myself! is getting me through is lots of friends, listening to others partic here on wiki and positive thinking, i will get through this, i am very strong and determined to enjoy life, what ever is thrown at me, and this business is only a temporary blip which was meant to be! an enriching experience!

referring to your other post, i too am looking for a Clean Break if break it must and there may still be hope, so will be watching replies with interest.

so good luck, chin up and smile!

daisy,
welcome to wiki.
It is going to be hard .We can torture ourselves with buts and ifs,it will not change anything.There must be a reason we ended up so my only advice will be to deal with what ever come your way to the best of your ability and then move on to the next stage of your life.The future is frightening but also exciting because of its unknown potential.
hope to see you in chat,take care

Hi Daisy

welcome to this site.
You have found the right place for help and support , dont know what id have done without all the help here.

Guess we all ask why? why me ?
I really dont know the answer , but as Maria says we must just deal with the hand we are dealt as best we can .

take care

shiny

Hallo Daisy

You don't say what happened to your first husband, but eloping and marrying in Vegas or having a dream wedding in Honolulu or whatever isn't a guarantee that the marriage will last.

Personally, looking at my situation and marriages of my friends (those that have lasted and those that haven't) I'm not sure I believe in "soul mates".

Yes, its romantic to believe you can be one with another and be swept off your feet, but real life tends to turn into squabbles about whose turn it is to empty the bins.

I have separated from my husband. He is living with another woman. I am going to counselling and have seen that I was expecting my husband to be someone he wasn't, and to meet my emotional needs when he wasn't able to.

I don't need a soul mate (though it would be lovely) I can survive on my own and even enjoy life.

You are still feeling very raw - but it might help to talk to a counsellor or write down your feelings about how you felt when you got married and what went wrong.

hi No Regrets
My first marriage was a long and abusive one.
I had to flee in the end and I was homeless but considered at risk. So for some time I had support workers acting on my behalf but I with my great faith and with strength from my friends managed to get through. But it left a mark, a vulnerability, so I guess when my x2b came along I just needed to be loved for the right reasons. I asked him to move in with me, he was so solid and caring. We bought a place together but things started to go wrong after we got married. A gradual erosion of respect from him and it is just such a waste of the emotion I felt for him.