hi new here

Just wanted to introduce myself and ask for some advice.

been married for 13yrs have a 5yr. marriage not been too good for a couple of years, he as a bad temper and just belittles me and undermines me at every opportunity he can get. Always feel like i am walking on egg shells with him.
realise now that i shouldnt be treated like this.

he moved into spare room about 6 months ago, says he wants a divorce and wants his life back.

He is only putting the bare minimum into the account and we are going into debt. Thinks it is ok to do this.

I am feeling very fragile at the moment , which i know you guys will understand.

What i want advice on is , i am seeing a solicitor this afternoon, to start some sort of separation proceedure.
am i ok starting this all off. will it come back to bite me.

really hopes this has made sense

thanks for letting me share this, hardly told anyone just trynig to keep everything together for my daughter.

x

Big (((hug))) for you

Your not alone, and it's a scary road ahead but your wise to see a sol today.

You are doing everything correct at the moment and if you need any other advise just post it up and someone here will help you out.

Take care and good luck

Phoenix1

thanks you dont know what that means to me, just for one person to say i am doing the right thing. its just so raw and it hurts so much. just trying to pretend everything is ok?
just started telling friends , luckily they are not shared , so they dont have to take sides.

Lole, We are all a good bunch here and we support each other all the time, Try and log on whenever you can and maybe try and come into chat.

You'll make a lot of very good friends on here and they will help you as much as they can.

Take care

Phoenix1

lolewood wrote:

Just wanted to introduce myself and ask for some advice.

been married for 13yrs have a 5yr. marriage not been too good for a couple of years, he as a bad temper and just belittles me and undermines me at every opportunity he can get. Always feel like i am walking on egg shells with him.
realise now that i shouldnt be treated like this.

he moved into spare room about 6 months ago, says he wants a divorce and wants his life back.

He is only putting the bare minimum into the account and we are going into debt. Thinks it is ok to do this.

I am feeling very fragile at the moment , which i know you guys will understand.

What i want advice on is , i am seeing a solicitor this afternoon, to start some sort of separation proceedure.
am i ok starting this all off. will it come back to bite me.

really hopes this has made sense

thanks for letting me share this, hardly told anyone just trynig to keep everything together for my daughter.

x

Hi lolewood

Just wanted to send you a message of support. I hope you log back on again to receive it.

I am also new to this website, but have already found it very helpful, even if it is just to vent your anger! There are so many supportive people on here who are just happy to listen.

I left my husband back in July and moved into a rented flat with our 2yr. Our relationship was similar to yours by the sound of it. He had a bad temper, drank a lot and seem to have a very Jekyll & Hyde personality. Fine one minute and would suddenly snap the next. I deliberated for a long time before making the decision to leave and even now I still wonder if I have made the right decision (its funny how quickly you forget the bad stuff), but you just have to try and remember it so that you know you've made the right decision.

Because of all the helpful and friendly people I have met on here, I shall be logging on regularly, so if you ever need shoulder!

Good luck and take care of yourself x

Hallo

Its a very uncertain world and separation and divorce are very rarely decisions taken lightly. It's natural to wonder if you are doing the right thing, but you have to think about the consequences of not doing it. Your husband is in a separate bedroom and you aren't having a good relationship, so I think you are doing the right thing.

You will feel wobbly now and then - that's normal. But you will get strength from taking action and support from your friends.

Good luck.

Hi Lole, welcome to Wikki, i think you're doing the right thing. If you're in seperate bedrooms & hes being emotionally abusive then its not worth putting yourself or your child through this any longer. It IS scary filing for divorce, but it seems you need to. You deserve to be happy & treated with respect, if you're not getting that you're better off alone.
Keep posting, we will help you through it,
Cindy