Out of love

Feeling very sad. My husband has just tild me he no longer loves me after 20 years of marriage. I feel gutted. He keeps offering me differing amounts of cash in an attempt to leave quicker and without added fees.

Welcome to Wiki - you will meet a lot of people here who are in the same situation - who will be able to support you and give you good adivce.

In your situation, I would do nothing at the moment. Write down the figures he offers. Find out why the money is being offered. Think carefully about your situation, your emotions, feelings, needs, whether the relationship can be salvaged, want you want what he wants can there be a compromise? the general advice is not to do anything too quickly - because its hard to go back - but also others recommend lots of talking if possible. If he wants to go, don't beg him to stay, let him go he may come back when he finds out the grass isn't greener....

good luck and keep coming wiki

Keep Strong Carrie x

Hi missingu

You must be feeling awful. Don't enter into any financial discussions just now. Focus on looking after yourself. I have been with my husband for 21 years and married for 18, so i understand the shock of being told by this person you loved and trusted that they no longer love you ( whatever that is). it is a dreadful nightmare but after 2 months I can tell you that there are some ok and good days. Hang on in there. Keep posting - it does help to release the sadness and anger. Kate.

Hi missingu, I'm sorry... you must be devastated, all I can say is the same as Kate, keep posting, everyone on Wiki are brilliant with advice, you'll get through it even though you don't think that at the moment, take care x

welcome to wiki,
it is a very sad time for you,but you will slowly get over it but in the mean time protect yourself.Do not come to any financial agreement with your husband until you know for sure what is in the pot.Make sure that it is all done legally too.
Please come into chat ,we will support you through this difficult time.
((((missing))))))

Please, please do not agree to anything at this moment in time. Give yourself some space and time to become accustomed to what is happening to you and your life. I suspect that you have not been told the whole story (sorry for that) and you should be prepared to learn/hear other factors involved.

After 30 odd years of marriage I am learning that my stbx hadn't just fallen out of love with me although he told me he that he still loved me, he was no longer in love with me, he was actually planning a new life with his younger girlfriend and I was expected to help fund their new life together.

Pause, breathe and do not commit to anything - you are worth so much more.

Agree with all that has been said so far. Take time to consider your position very carefully. Use Wiki to your advantage. We are here to give our opinions...rightly or wrongly and support. Most of us are trawling through your situation as you will soon find out by reading posts. Ask and advice will be freely offered. Up to you to take or leave it but do look at what is being said. We care here. Take care Polar.