Not sure if anyone else did this. My experience was that my ex kept throwing information and proposals at me which changed every time he mentioned them.I was emotionally in a total state about being rejected and realising my whole workd was about to collapse but no idea what it really meant.
To help me at the time I asked him to put in writing all of his proposals. This bought me time to go and get all of the data and understand what was happening, what my potential scenarios might be.I was also able to show my solicitor what he was looking for and she could see some of the personanality traits we would be working with.
If I roll forward several months and look back I am hoping that I may be able to use those early day letters. At that time the ex had not had legal advice, was not in a stage of anger that he now is with me for not going along with what he wanted on his terms. Those letters have given me cluses as to what he really felt was fair and where he might trade. I also think he may have dropped himself in it a few times by giving away too much. This wasn't my objective at the time ... as I say, if I roll on several months this information may be invaluable.
my advice ... get your data from him in writing before everything has the potential to get really acrimonious (it might not of course), share this information with hyour advisors,get yourself good advice - don't respond to anything and work out your game plan.Think about what he is likely to want as his key outcomes and what your are. If there is overlap you may be able to get a quick resolution. If there is no sign of an overlap or
mediation .... court may be the only route as it was in my case.
I had a good peice of advice from the start - do I want to be controlled or do I want to take control. I realised the marriage was over, no going back and put in residency, divorce at the same time and shortly after, the finances. This put the wheels in motion to stop him playing games with me.It also showed him there was no going back.
I knew the ex was a man that did not like challenge and had already refused to mediate - I had no other option but the court route, but that I could still try mediation in parallel.
Take your time .... say little to him, use your network and draw up your approach ....
There are some great people here who can help you....
