Hello

I've tried writing letters - a couple of long ones. Texting how I feel, asking to talk about us. Seems to make no difference. The talking doesn't come, if I try it ends up with no pratically no response and me just getting frustrated. I'm a logical person and I can't deal with emotion and uncertainty very well.

I do want to support the kids and my wife if we seperate, I have no desire to avoid any responsibility. I only earn so much. She also works but doesn't earn enough to cover the mortgage payment. She won't talk to see how we can manage things financially or what arrangements we can make for seeing the children. I still care for them but living like we are is no good for anyone in the house. No matter how we got where we are without communicating I don't know how we can sort anything out. I don't want to be the cause of the kids being unable to carry on doing all the things they do now.

I just feel like giving up, so tired and drained.

keep trying to communicate, My wife and I separated about 10 weekes ago and I moved out a month ago, we have 2 daughters aged 7 & 9 and I believe they are coping with the situation so well because we have done everything ammicably, i am providing for them all as best as I can and they have kept the house so that stays stable. I was fortunate that we both had the best interests of the kids at heart. As adults we can look after ourselves but they need us to look after them. Your wife needs to understand that however she feels should come second to the best interests of the children for now, Keep trying

Good Luck
Justin

Your wife is probably as unhappy as you are and scared about what might happen if she does talk to you.

You could try planning to do something with your children one weekend or evening, which would give her some time on her own, maybe to reflect on things.

I can't offer any help - other than to say that painful though it was, I am much happier on my own than in a marriage where I couldn't talk to my husband.

He's gone off to live with his new love (almost before he'd done me the courtesy of saying our marriage was over) and has hardly bothered to spend any time with our sons since.

I accept that very few marriages end with the blame all on one side, but I am very angry that my husband didn't tell me he had someone else - he was scared of what I might do, he said, which I found a) cowardly and b) insulting, how could he live with me 31 years and not know that I wouldn't go berserk? I also am very upset about the effect its had on our kids and the fact that he doesn't seem to have thought about that at all. He's loved up and he thinks we should all be very happy for him.

Anyway, hopefully you will have found that putting your thoughts here and getting some feedback is helpful to you.

good luck.