separated and relieved

Hi Everyone,
I am new to all this.Have been reading the blogs etc. and thought i would add some thing to it all. Was married for 10 yrs. not all bad, but not all good.
i initiated the separation. ever since then he has played games, lied etc. That stresses me out and has the effect that he wants. Surprises me how, my once best friend can be soo evil.
I am not bitter(at the moment),just want to get on with life. I suppose that i did my grieving during the marriage and i feel like i can breath for the first time in years. .Would appreciate any advice on these feeling. WE split up 6-7 months ago and do realise that it is still early days.
God bless

Hi Europe

Welcome to Wiki - a great place to share experiences and get some great support and advice.

Its very emotionally draining when there is emotional distress from an ex who has not accepted or grieved for the end of a marriage - not that you can do anything to make sure you are at the same stages, but I understand what you mean.

You dont feel bitter or angry you just want them to be where you are.

Totally understand how you feel, but it does gradually get better, and the only way I could stop it 'getting to me and stressing me out' was to stop letting it. Really hard to do, but it was that or go mad, as I could not make him accept or move on until he was ready.

Hope you are staying strong and welcome again x

Hi Europe, welcome to Wikki. Its good that you feel relieved after your split & not in deep depression like many. I also hate mind games & lies, my stbx is doing exactly the same to me! Our divorce is in the courts & hes confessed to adultery. Its been a hard road for me but i feel i'm on the road up now, at last!!!
Hoping you stay strong & find true happiness soon,
Cindy

Hi Europe,
welcome to wiki.Like you said you have done your greiving already but what your x2b is going through is normal,he has to go through all the emotional stages of divorce too and they do not surface in any particular order but acceptance will eventually come.
Take care

Hi,
Thank you very much for those kind replies. I am still strong. I admit some days not as strong as others.
In some way, i have sympathy for stbx.If I was A stranger and listened to the stuff he tells me.
But I know To take him with a huge pinch of salt. I also have a little mantra in my head, When we are talking.
The kids are finding it hard at the moment. stbx is putting ideas of mummy is this and that in their head. they always ask daddy says this and daddy says that. it can be hard to justify it all to small children. my nisi is due in november. I am looking forward to that. One small step, but one huge leap for my life.
take care and god bless:cheer:

Perhaps your stbx should be talking to a counsellor rather than his children, about how he feels about you.

Thanks for that comment. To you and me that sounds like common sense. to him perhaps not. The next installment is that ex is requesting a reduction in maintenance payments for petrol. due to taking his children to school once a week.
I know that this is all done out of anger, but please...It just makes him look desperate.
i do ignore all these tanturms,but perhaps i should just give him a reaction. what do u think?