my story

Hi everyone,
I have joined this forum because my husband is making family life hell. I recently was diagnosed with a chronic illness which will gradually get worse. I recently became very ill and was in hospital.When I came home found out by accident that my husband had tried to to take out a life insurance policy on me during my hospital stay. He had not mentioned it to me. I am off work at the moment due to illness and now depression because I cannot cope with the things I have found out. He has been going on 4 casual sex sites, (thinks its ok, as he doesnt have full membership to contact the women)He has been saying he doesnt have enough money and is struggling to pay mortgage and utilities. Has been spending loads on ebay and amazon and has bought himself a new gym. He said he got it from someone at work but it cost £200, I found receipt. He has accessed my own bank account and paid his mobile phone bill and set up a dd for council tax without my permission. He has also withdrawn over £400 with my cashcard. I decided to check joint mortgage account and found out he has withdrawn £15,000 over a period of a year 2 years ago that I knew nothing about. He has also put it on interest free twice. He has been unfaithful in the past and we split up 12 years ago but she dumped him and after a couple of other failed relationships he begged to come home. I have found out that he has put an ad in a newspaper to find an ex girlfriend and also put a plea on the internet to find her. I dont know what to do, he is refusing to leave and threatening me. He doesnt speak about it and is just going on as if nothing has happened, if I try to talk about it he is like a monster and very scary. Can someone give some advice, even though I know how bad it all sounds part of me wants to pretend it is not happening and to keep it as normal as possible for the children. I think I am frightened to do anything becasue he will play dirty, he has threatened to report me for blackmail about the fraud he has committed because I said if he went I would leave it, I am scared what he could do. I have contacted domestic violence unit but they couldnt offer much as I work and evrything costs money, somebody help..

((((dog)))))
welcome to wiki.
You are in a very distressing situation,I really do not know what to suggest ,need some more informations,such as number and age of children etc.Have you manage to take controll of the finance.I think the most important thing is your health,if you can maintain stability it will be great.
If he is treating you like this now how will he be when you get worst?
I would be tempted to get the bowl rolling now and at least you will be settled if you do get worst.I would not be too concerned about his blackmail.
Good luck.
Hope someone can give you better advice than this

Hi, welcome to Wikki. what an awful situation you are in right now. I'm sorry that you've been so ill & in hospital, i hope you feel a little better now. It sounds like your hubby is playing around with other women & almost rubbing your nose in it! Then you have the money side of it all, him taking money & not telling you, thats terrible! Can you not see a solicitor for half hour advice on getting him out of the house? That is, if you want him out? From there you could get an injunction for his harrassment & threats. It seems he is using you at the moment & it will only get worse!
I dont know what else to suggest but i'm sure you'll get lots of replies soon, keep watching your thread.
Thinking of you & hope you find a solution soon, sorry i'm not much help,
Cindy