Firstly thanks to dukey, mizmagoo, marriaa and pinkhenry for their help advice and support over the weekend, although I know many people until then I had never felt so alone in all my life, and why...
Because some short while ago, I guess it was early this year (but it was maybe earlier)my loving wife of 28 years decided to tell me that she had no feelings for me anymore and that she didn't love me or have any affection for me as a woman loves a man or a wife a husband. I was devastated! I knew of course we had had our share of difficulties, as do most couples, but this revelation really was an exocet and hurt me deeply. When I asked she stated she had felt this way for some considerable time, over 2 years, I was numbed, basically for the last few years she was saying our life together, our marriage, was a sham, a pretence, that she had been living a lie and I hadn't been able to see through the veil of disguise. I felt such a fool, betrayed by the one person in life I truly, truly trusted.
I thought we could fix it, stay together for the kids, 26, 24, 18 and 15, but realistically I never stood a chance, her mind was made up then I reckon, her tolerance levels disappeared, one wrong word, one mis-interpreted deed and wham the walls were up and life turned into a living hell.
So at the end of August enough had become enough and here we are, separated but living in the same home, basically she chose that it was the end and has hardly spoken since. Strange though, I have to say it was ultimately her decision, she told the kids she had decided it was over, but she doesn't seem to want to do anything about it unless I instigate it. Please don't anyone say it can be patched - she has made certain that will not and cannot happen.
My world is in turmoil, I dont really know what to do.
mediation - yes, we'll try that. Then NO - that wont work unless you are prepared to co-operate and she's shown no signs of that. Solicitors then - yes, but then rationality hits and you just know that'll cost both arms and both legs, and you can't afford that, so NO that's not viable. Presently we are back to agreeing to go to Mediation again - I am hopeful something good will come of it, I really hope so, I want to move on now but can't unless we sort everything out - people say money's not everything but by golly I don't want to try and live without any, I reckon with what's happened and after 28 years I deserve to get a fair share of the takings. but then there's fair and there's fair isn't there??
