Hi to everyone!

Hi,

My name is Justin & I am 29 with 2 children, I have recently separated with my wife and to be quite honest I am finding it quite tough. I am new to these types of forums but decided that just writing a bit about my situation might help me and maybe someone else too.

My wife and I separated about a week short of our 2nd wedding anniversay although we had been together for 11 years in total, we have 2 beautiful daughters aged 9 & 7. Our relationship ended for several reasons the breaking point was when i caught her having sex with my "best mate" although in many respects I feel I drove her to it. It was a one off dunken mistake which I believe she genuinly regrets but it made both of us realise how bad the situation had got. We had been living for so long concentrating on being parents that we had forgotten how to make each other happy, I am not very good at showing my emotions and never seemed to know how to give her the affection she craved. Over the years we had tried to make changes but they never seemed to take effect. I wanted to try and work things out but I knew deep down that probably too much damage had been done over the years and that I would probably never be able to come to terms with want had happened that night.

We are about 10 weeks in and I have moved into a flat about 10 mins walk away and we are concentrating on minimising the effect on the children, we have ammicably dealt with the House, finacial & childcare sides and both hope to keep our friendship, not just for the sake of the children but because we both care about each other and afterall we have been more like friends than a couple for some time. So far it is going ok and the kids are taking it very well so if we both work at it then hopefully that will continue.

My biggest problem is the emptyness i am left with, although I see them all quite often, I just feel like life will never be the same again!, I worry about how I will cope when she meets someone new or how I will ever be able to enter into a new relationship myself because of the fear of getting this hurt again.

Well thats me and my situation in a nutshell (hope I didnt go on too much), feel free to contact if you have any advise, questions or just to say Hi!

Thanks
Justin

hi
Its still very fresh ,allow yourself a period of peace,the devastation does improve ,take one day at a time, you do stop hurting im speaking through experience .i Ihink there a grieving process you need to go through allow yourself time most importantly look after yourself.
the hurt disipates,eventully you fall out of love .
be kind to yourself i joined evening classes ,singles clubs anything that helps .
things will improve, you will be happy again .
I hope writing your story helped love yourself

Hallo Justin and welcome to Wikivorce

I hope you will find it supportive to you.

I've recently separated from my husband - we'd been married nearly 18 years and together a total of 31, so I am still getting over all that.

My husband wants to be matey with me but he is all loved up in his new relationship. I honestly can't imagine ever feeling able to start a relationship with any man ever again, so this is tricky for me. I've just said I'm not interested in hearing how they've been to dinner parties and concerts etc - especially as he's hardly bothered to see our sons - 16 and 14.

Anyway, you will feel lonely. There is a big gap - but you need to fill it with something. I have a great interest in tracing my - and my husband's -family history and have lots of internet friends through genealogy sites. But I've also made an effort to contact friends and say yes to invitations to anything, even if its something I wouldn't normally have gone to.

I am trying to find opportunities where I can. I am sure in a few weeks time things will seem better.