ok ok it was me

Marsh_ wrote:

Angel. This is where the system falls down. Some men (and lets be fair it is usualy men) dont like to pay for there kids and usualy its the woman that has PC. And these men that dont pay are allowed to get away with it. On the other hand there some women that have affairs behave badly and the man looses everything. Home, family, pension and a large amount of money and has to start again when they should be reaping the rewards of a lifetime of loyal service. It seems so very very wrong that these 2 situations are allowed to take place and the law cant and wont do anything about it. C

Hi Marsh

I think that there will always be people who don't want to meet their responsibilities and pay up for their children. Yes it is pretty much 100% men and usually the sort that are unemployed(able) and wander round shopping centres all day in shell suits. There are also the "clever" types that manipulate the system and disguise earnings.

For the honest ones amongst us I find the best policy is to pay up the required percentage as indicated by the CSA and try and resist the unrealistic demands of the former partner who for some reasons thinks that she has the right to sit on her backside for two days a week whilst expecting me to work five. He ho...

Yes it is pretty much 100% men

I'll tell the tart that I married that one.

lets be clear here folks, im paying for mortgage and bills as well as maintenance and really i dont mind until my ex gets to a point when she wants to move on with someone new or my son leaves university I want him to have all that I couldnt have or give to the previous now adult children, she works for less wages than me but has all the houshold goods and her car etc is paid for and mine isnt I walked with clothes only, my suggestion of splitting equity in the house 50-50 when the time comes to sell and she keeps all other items including 10k in savings has been rejected by her, oh yeah and turning the boys against me pretty much makes me start to hate her, i know she's hurt but lord lets move on after 5 months and just agree. i have a feeling that the very little equity will be eaten up by solicitor costs in the end just seems a shame.

Hi pcarl

Sorry, in no way was I suggesting that you were trying to get out of paying for anything and probably like a lot of us you are paying over the odds anyway.

I too am trying to get a money grabbing ex to see that it is hardly fair that I carry on paying all these bills and mortgage when the final settlement will be largely in her favour.

I don't think I can offer much comfort about whether you will get 50:50 or 70:30 and until it goes to court the only thing you can do is guess or take some good legal advice. BTW, the calculator on here seems to come up with some rather bizarre results so I wouldn't place too much reliance on that eithher.

Good luck and try not to loose your sanity, dignity (or shirt) in the process. The biggest comfort I take from all this is the pleasure of not waking up with her sour face every day. Priceless...!!!!

thanks no insult taken, great comment about the waking up every morning without the sour face though I was just saying the same thing (brought a smirk to my face), good luck mate, remember lifes for livin. take care