Is this finally the Beginning of my New Life

If you always feel you're doing things not to please him because you want to, but to avoid the fall out if you don't do them then I'd say it's time to go regardless of whether you diagnose this as 'controlling' or just being a bit of a pig on his side.

I'll put my male perspective on it as this - no man has the right to 'expect' you to do anything. Marriage, and indeed any form of relationship, is a partnership between two people. Not a set of obligations, but a set of responsibilities.

Those responsibilities extend to the hum drum of every day life like paying bills and taking care of each other, cooking and cleaning. But they are all shared, not one of them resides with one individual.

But there is no obligation to have sex, it's not a reward for being a good partner, a bread winner, the master of the house etc etc. It's the most private and intimate thing you can share, so if you don't want to then don't.

The difference between physically saying no and being made to and mentally saying no and being made to is what ?

I'd be interested from a purely personal perspective to know if his parents have a very 'traditional' marriage where there's a very obvious Man of the House figure ? I wonder just how much of our behaviour in relationships is bred into us by our own upbringing, and how much we construct for ourselves.

Thank you all for your suppport. I have secured a place to stay on a temporary basis if he wont agree to leave. It appears to the perfect answer as it is my little boys best friends mum who is also single, so at least I will have support too. It will also be a nice distraction for my boy who can have sleep over with his friend. I have withdrawn some funds from his account for which I will keep receipts and will seek advice early next week as to what I am entitled to.

So he is at work and arrives home early today and I plan to tell him when he arrives home. I actually feel very strong now and am ready for all the promises again.

With regard to his childhood, his parents divorced when he was young and he was brought up by a stepfather. He talks very little but with distaste about his childhood only that his mum and stepfather fought a lot. My own childhood was very dysfunctional and am convinced that is why I stayed in this situation for so long just happy for some stability. Coupled with the fact that as my mother had 2 failed marriages and I was determined no matter what that i would try and hardest to make mine work. I believe that some people may not try hard enough but i dont believe now in my heart that you have to be unhappy in doing so.