Help with anger

Hi everyone, wanted to ask any of you if you can advised me how do I stay calm and to control my anger with my ex, when I see him. My ex walked out seven weeks ago, packed a bag and left, we had been married twenty eight years, this is the second time hes done it to me the last time was 25 years ago, when I was expecting my first child, now hes done it agan, but this time hes done it with his ex wife who he was married to 30 years ago, he was'nt with her when I met him,they had already split up, she been married 28years also, and it looks like she had affairs all her married life. The pair of them are living at exs sister house together, but I feel so angry, with him, when he comes to take our eight year old daughter out. I get so angry and upset when I see him, hes so smug, I feel hes moved on and dumped me, he says, He wants us to be friends, but there is no way I can be his friend. It so hard to be calm when I see him, I feel like hes laughing at me, I know its early days and things are still raw, plus you start finding things out about the things they have been doing to you, all the lies and deceit, I feel so let down by him, as I took him back all those years ago and hes gone and done it agan to me. I nearly had a nevous breakdown last time. They seem to find it so easy to move on and it makes me sooo mad, any advise on letting go, would be appreciated

Superwoman.

It is early days! It has been weeks since you split up so naturally you are going through a wealth of emotions. You will be angry, depressed, tearful, elated - it will be a real rollercoaster. BUT the bad moments will become less and less. It has been 7 months since my split and it is so hard because I have to see this person I despise 2 times a week to hand over the kids.
The statistics are against your husband and this woman, as 70% of relationships that start as affairs end. My husbands has already as far as I know - not that I can trust him at all.
You have been tied to another person for a long time. Now it is YOUR time. Be selfish, pamper yourself and remember you cannot rely on someone else for your own happiness.

Take care

Yummy

Yummy mummy wrote:

The statistics are against your husband and this woman, as 70% of relationships that start as affairs end. My husbands has already as far as I know - not that I can trust him at all.

You're not wrong there Yummy Mummy my stbx has only been living with his new woman for 4 months and the cracks are starting to appear. This is mainly due to the fact that he is still in touch with me. We both know there is no chance of us getting back together, but she is so insecure it's tearing them apart:laugh: I know i shouln't laugh, but it makes a change from crying!![/b]

yep Yummy I would agree with that. Mine chose a WAN**** and he dumped her after a holiday. Im still considering options but wow will the ducks scatter if I get going. Take care Polar

SW

Know exactly how you feel. It is awful and doesn't do us any good at all. Am sure my anger made my ex even happier. I am much calmer now (at the moment at least)and the only thing that has changed is time. Crap solution but think it is one of the few that work.
Good Luck

I realised very early on that my husband loved it when I got angry. We recently had an argument and I lost control and nearly hit him. I stopped and at that point I saw a little smile on his face. He was happy as a) if I had lashed out he would have used it as an example in our custody battle and b) it justifies why he had an affair and wanted to end our relationship - as I was an unreasonable woman.
Your husband will know how to push your buttons - so you have to steel yourself against his emotional games. Take a deep breath, go out and buy a plastic baseball bat and a cushion. After a meeting with him take it out on the cushion (this is a genuine therapy technique).

Deep breath, deep breath.....

Yummy