Mediation

Sit down and listen at mediation real hard.
Try and ascertain what she wants,let her do the talking.
Don't be doing all the talking and I think this and that coz you will show her all your hand and have found out nothing.
My ex was brilliant at sitting and saying nothing so I was ranting on the first time about her affair and how hard done by I was and how she was living with someone.She just lied and denied everything and said she had £0 assets.I'd listed about £600k.
anyways the second meeting the mediator started asking me all the questions .I kicked back relaxed and said i think i said enough last time let's see what her proposition is.
You've got to listen and get them to talk.

Hi there

thanks for that info , have booked mediation in 2 weeks but feel that stbx may attend 1 or 2 to find out what im thinking and how much i know about his finances and then refuse to go once he feels it might not all go his way .
I am usually the one to chatter on and dislose all , i will try and keep quiet and listen and see what happens !!!

shiny

I cant recommend mediation highly enough - saved me an absolute fortune on legal costs and definately kept me out of court. These people are trained and know what they are dealing with - they can make the meeting as separate as you want or as round the table as you can manage. Latter is best if you want to get the detail hammered out asap. People can spin a good yarn if they want to but all this is really about is splitting money and agreeing stuff about the kids - that gets sorted based on hard evidence (unless people really want to hide stuff) in which case you are off to court most likely. You will get alot of guidance on what you need to produce and some info on what is 'the norm' for yr circumstances. Even if it doesnt work for you I would highly recommend it because you will see where the other person is comming from (even if your not going to like it) Good luck with it - R

I have just completed my second session of mediation. It is daunting and it seems your life is being laid bear. It is completed in stages - in our case firstly listing assets next income and expenditure. Our next session will be looking at options for the future. The difficult part for me is I'm still having to live with my husband and this can cause some friction when we get home. My one piece of advice would be agree only to discuss the finances in the mediation room. I don't know if we will come to agreement - however at least we will be able to say we gave it a go before this all ends in court!Good luck.