ex is dying again

dont know if anyone can help me here, but my ex is lying in his bed saying that he has a malignant cancer. Two years back he had a similar terminal illness but survived. We have a 9 year old boy together who lives with me. When i drop him off on saturday night, i know that he is telling him the same as he tells me. Should i tell my son that his dad is not being quite as truthful as i would like?

If your son is genuinly worried about his dad; you could say that daddy has survived terminal illness before, and reassure him not to worry too much.

Hi

I am more concerned about his motives!!! What is he trying to prove. If indeed it is correct, then it is going to be devastating for his son. Surely his son has the right to know the truth, and to be given time to comes to terms with the fact that his father might be dying.

If I found out he was lying, I would make sure that he was never allowed to forget the anxiety and pain he had put his son through. There is a name for people that constantly seek sympathy by announcing that they are dying.
Dont know what it is though cannot remember.

In our village we had a guy, announced he only had 6 months to live, so, everybody used to buy him drinks and listen to his sad tale,he had sold his property and decided to spend it all on drink and a good time. He had the greatest sympathy from all. We all listened to him, tried to help him. 2 years later, he was homeless and an alcholic.

I moved away not long after, still dont know if he is alive. He just wanted the attention.

Only you know how your son might deal with this, good luck.

zara

Zara

This could be Munchausen's Syndrome.it is a psychological condition where people "believe" they are ill to gain attention.

xx

Hi Leah.
welcome to wiki.
I hope your x2b is only looking for sympathy .What he is doing to your son is very wrong.You should talk to him and ask him to have a checkup.If and whenever there is something wrong you should both be there when you tell your son .
Your son has got enough on his plate and does not need his dad to be adding to it.
take care.

Hi Leah, i agree with the others here. If your ex is truly terminally ill then you both need to tell your son together that his daddy may die. If he isn't ill at all & just seeking attention then he needs to realise what he is putting you all through. In the latter case i would personally tell your son that daddy has an illness in his 'mind' that thinks hge is dying but he is really ok!!!
Hope you get help here from everyone, its a terrible situation if he is lying.
Cindy

Listen to Sera. The problem is people with psychosomatic illnesses can really believe they are ill. With Munchausen's Syndrome people deliberately falsify illness to get attention, but in other conditions such as hypochondria people can believe they are ill. To complicate matters further even though people have wrongly believed they were ill in the past it doesn't mean they aren't genuinely ill now.

Years ago when I worked in mental health there was hypochondriac who developed a bizarre tic over many months which wasn't taken that seriously until one consultant realised a rare side effect of the man's medication was Tourette Syndrome. So I would see how things pan out and never completely dismiss the possibility an illness is genuine.