Disability and divorce - any experiences ?

Hi, I wonder if anybody can help or has any similar experiences?

My wife who has been going blind for over 15 years (with all the problems that that brings) and who I have faithfully supported and been committed to in a 10 year marriage has recently decided that I am no longer good enough for her, has admitted relationship/sex with another person, and forced me out in to rented accomodation. She doesnt work and I have been the main breadwinner (95%+ of income) for our entire marriage providing a comfortable lifestyle where she has never had to worry about money or work (nice house in a nice area, several nice holidays abroad per year etc).

She has agreed to my request for a divorce.

As well as being incredibly hurt, betrayed and angry (like most of her and my friends and family feel!), she is saying that she has had legal advice saying that I will have to support her at exactly the same financial level I do now in exactly the same house, not only because of our 9 year old son but because she has her disability. This obviously leaves me little financial scope to get on with my new life.

Does anybody have experience of dealing with something like this, my wife is very smart and very tough (rather than being a so-called victim as you might imagine). I think she plans to take me to the cleaners. Help!

I know exactly what you mean, although in my case it was mental illness and my ex obviously had to be represented by others. There was no question of malice involved.

Disability is relevant to the extent that it limits or negates the sufferer's ability to support him/herself. The Court also needs to look at the sufferer's possible future needs.

I think that the likelihood is that in cases like this the Court would make a joint lives maintenance order, one that lasts till the death of either party or re-marriage of the payee.

How much you might have to pay depends of course on your financial position. If you have a child you pay 15% in child support, which is a deduction from your income and an addition to hers. Whether you have to pay her anything depends on whether you can afford to make such a payment after child support and your own needs have been met.

Would you say the house is too large for your wife and child ? You have an interest in that house and it would be very unusual for a Court to deprive you of all your interest in the house. If, exceptionally, it did,
you would almost certainly be compensated in some way, and one way in which this can be done is reduce or cancel spousal maintenance.

It looks to me as though your wife is in a relationship, but there are, of course, relationships and relationships. If she moved her BF in, then that would have a bearing on the maintenance you might have to pay her.

Your wife has no right to insist on being maintained at the same level as heretofore ; that is an unrealistic aspiration, but I fear the prospects for you are rather
bleak. I do not like to be some sort of modern day Cassandra but my own experience, if you knew it, would offer you little comfort. In my case we had no children, and you have. You must always be allowed enough to live on, there is no doubt about that, but if she is as smart as you say, she will extract every scrap of advantage
from the two factors which are in her favour, at least financially. But at least you have your sight ; money may not be everything.

Mike