destroyed.

hi thoght id share my experience as the info on this site has been really helpful and supportive thankyou.... right i suppose il start from the beginning-

well i met my husband 3years ago and we married when i was 19 two years ago. my family disagreed because they have strong traditional and religiouse values (because we were from two different castes)and didnt think i knew him too well enough.which now i look back was true but i was young and very naive and my husband is 3years older then me and is very manipulative and won me over i thoght he was sooo perfect.so anyway i moved town to live with him and his mum and he completely changed after i married him. he wasnt supportive of my dream to go university wich he encouraged in the beginning and didnt giv me any money as i was struggling to find a job.

anyway we eventually moved out because his mum was getting in the way and he became very violent. i put up with his abusive behaviour and didnt tell anyone because i had faith he would change but he didnt.i moved back to my parents in august this year because the my husband couldnt afford to pay the rent and he said it was temporary until he saved up and he went back to live with his mum.he used to come some weekends to see me and i found a job in my hometown so we can save quicker althogh he was never good with finances and has £6k debt so i couldnt rely on him.the last time he came to see me was on my 21st birthday in september and after a little row he just left which was totally out of character because the past 3months his behaviour had changed and he was so good to me.

anyway then i started to call him and text him saying whats going on and he was ignoring me so i was hurt and the fact that he had changed his status to single and dating on facebook i left it thinking he is just going throgh a phase and few days later i get a call from the police saying i have to stop harassing him i was so shocked and then i get a letter from his solicitor saying he wants a divorce.after everything he put me throgh i still stuck by him for the sake of our marriage and i love him eventhough he mentally lowered my self-esteem and has destroyed the person. now he doesnt even acknowledge i exsist and i said to my solicitor to ask him to wait for abit and think before issuing the divorce petition but i received the acknowledgment of service today and am so distraught.

i cant beleive its happening so quick,i cant beleive he has done this to me. last month i ended up in hospital because i got ill with all the stress and i just wanted to speak to him but im not even allowed to do that.im getting legal aid because i lost my job when i got ill and havnt had much luck since.i dont know how to handle my feelings im really really broken,cant eat or sleep and my doctor has referred me to counselling but all i want is the pain to go away.this site has given me abit of hope as im not the only one who is going through this but its just so damn hard

Hallo and welcome!

You are going through all the shock and disbelief at what is happening combined with the grief of losing the love you once had.

But you married very young. Of course your husband wasn't perfect - no one is perfect. He's been violent, he isn't good with money, he didn't support your dreams.

But you are still young and you can still go to university etc.

Counselling will really help (I've been going for about 4 months now) you to express your feelings and clear your thoughts.

I wish you the very best and keep posting here.

Hi Lost Soul, i'm sorry you are going through all of that with your hubby. Its so hard to accept a marriage is over but try to think of it as a lucky escape!! He was abusive to you, kept you short of money, left you homeless etc etc so he wasn't really a good husband for you. You need counselling as soon as possible, you are so young with so much to live for. You could start college & get a dregree & make new friends along the way.
Read others poists here & you will gain strength knowing your not alone. We are all here for you so keep posting. it will get better with time.
Take care of yourself,
Cindy

thankyou for your posts...i dnt think counselling will help to be honest iv studied psychology and i kind of know what to expect and as for going back to study i cnt do it mentally and iv lost my ambition to. i know everyone says within time it will get better but i know myself that my whole life and the person i was has changed im so weak its unbeleivable.sometimes i wish id jus curl up n die.
but i keep telling myslf there are people in a worse off position and i should be grateful for my life but it sucks when i had my whole life planned with him and i gave up my life and evrything inc family/freinds to be with him and he jus threw me away like a piece of rubbish.