Preparing for the worst....

Hi,

I will eventually be the respondent in a divorce that I suspect may end up being bitter, after being married for 4 years with two daughters, one nearing 3 and the other 8 months old.

Things were not good for a long time, due to a long running issue in our relationship that was never spoken about properly, or ever solved.... and that eventually became a breaking point ending up in myself committing adultery.

Once found out, I confessed all and now no longer live in the family home. I am not proud of the situation I have put my girls in, or the deceitful way I have behaved in the short time of the adultery.

It would be nice to think that I could provide for, and keep, the kids in the marital home but I suspect this will not be possible as being the sole wage earner all earnings are consumed by the mortgage and bills.

I am here to try and find out what to expect when things settle down and proceedings start, or to find out if there is an amicable way things can be resolved without involving too much legal wise, whilst fully providing for what was my family until things are resolved.

Hi, the financials are separate from the grounds in the divorce but can be requested via the court once you have your nisi, as I understand it. Consent Orders are less costly than having the court decide. Lots of information on the site or you can ask questions in the chat rooms as well when one of the law team are in, often in the evenings.
Good luck.

Is there no hope for the marriage? Could you not address this issue now?

Hi there

If you read this:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...G-IN-THIS-FORUM.html

and post those details, people can give you some ideas.

Amanda

kezzarick wrote:

Is there no hope for the marriage? Could you not address this issue now?

No, unfortunately not... the issues behind the marital break-up extend over a 4/5 year period, but have been particularly bad for the lsat 18 months - although there were signs of improvement, I had 'simply' moved on.

We were already in a period of 'trying to work things out' in an effort to see if there was anything left in the relationship, and I agreed to this in the hope that maybe, just maybe, something would change. Whilst parts of the relationship did change for the better, the key part didn't. Things would have ended at the end of the 'trying' period, but it never got that far because of my stupidity.

divorcelawyer wrote:

Hi there

If you read this:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...G-IN-THIS-FORUM.html

and post those details, people can give you some ideas.

Amanda

Thank you, it's very difficult to fill in the information there as things have only just happened. I have no idea on what access rights I will be given, nor am I sure on what is deemed an 'asset'. There are certain posessions that I would deem personal property and not an asset, unfortunately though one of which has substantial financial value - my record collection. The record collection was built up before the marriage, but the x2b (took me a while to work out what this was!) knows the financial value of these. I wouldn't want to sell them as I actually used to use these things in clubs, and would want to continue doing so!

I'll post anyway...thank you.

...blunt is fine, I've had much much worse over the last few days, and rightly so.

The 'leave' bit is mostly done, the collection remains in the house - but it's not so easy to move it as:

There's no-where for it to go where I am

No-one I know has enough space to store it

She will probably have something to say about it