Short end of the stick!

My ex-husband and I were together for 10 years and during most of these he would beat me up (most of these were reported) and mentally abused me. And, he occasionally cheated on me.

In april this year I found out that he was advertsing himself on a dating website as being divorced, and after confronting him,he beat me up and put a knife to my face and threatened to kill me.

Luckily I had a witness (W1) who saw that last part of the assualt, and another witness (W2) who saw the entire knife incident. The Edmonton police were called in and while in the ambulance a brief statement was taken then. W2 get her statement taken the next day. W1 had his statement taken in Nov08, and my follow-up statement wastaken end of Oct. This went through to CPS, and unfotuntately a jury didn't convict him. W1 statement was used as it came in too late and my 2nd statement was disputed due to the big gap in times.

In the meantime my ex-husband started the divorce petition before I could afford to. My lawyer suggested a cross petition and I agreed. I've just been to court regarding this and my husband refuses to drop his grounds. I refused to do the same as well. Now we will need to go to court in Dec.

In Apr the Edmonton County Court granted a non-molestation order and occupaton order and this is valid to Apr-09. My ex has not been contributing to the mortgage or making contributons for his son.

I don't have any more confidence in the Law and feel mentally battered. Am I doing the right thing by cross-petitioning the ground of the divorce?

Yikes! If it was me the last thing I would be worried about was the grounds for the divorce. I would just want to be rid of this nasty person.

Tell us the grounds you are eaching claiming, if it is unreasonable behaviour for both, it is really pointless and is going to cost lots of money and take a long time. It sounds to me like the classic case of the bully being found out and then wanting to claim she/he is the victim. It is another tool in their box if you let them use it.

I say drop your defense and your cross petition, sign the acknowledgement to his stating that you accept the marriage has broken down and is irretreivable but that you do not admit the allegations made.

On the part about 'costs', refuse to pay costs, the reason being his bad and violent behaviour.

The fact that he petitioned is itself a gift.

Thanks for your advice. Yes, it is unreasonale behaviour from both parties.

I'm just so upset about all of this. I just want justice..but even that I couldn't get..

I'll think about what you said. Thanks again.

I agree with perry. I would drop the xross pet. Concentrate on getting your AR into court before apr 09. Otherwise you may need another non mol and OO orders. C