Just starting on this painful road

my husband has recently left me and my son, who is 3 1/2 and i am struggling with what to tell him, he has picked up on something being wrong, so far i have said, daddy has made mummy very sad. any suggestions?

Hi and welcome wiki so sorry that you find yourself here but hope that people can give you some help.

It really does depend on the circumstances of why he has left. Is there any chance of receonciliation, how long has it been?

i moved out of the FMH and for three weeks lived at my parents and came home early in the morning to pretend that everything was alright obviously that cannot go on for long and does depend on the circumstances.

If it's still really recent then maybe say he is away on holiday at the moment or at work. The key thing for me is that you and your husband talk through how you will both speak to your little one, I would suggest doing that as soon as possible once you have realised that the marriage is no longer going to work. On that have you tried counselling (eg relate) it may help.

Good luck and I wish you all the best

It has only been a few weeks, he got posted to london with work for 3 months, so only home at the weekends, but it seems to have opened his eyes to another life, he also syas he has met someone else, it has been quite a side swipe, i was not expecting it, he says he has not been happy for a long time. at the momment its all too much:(

I know it seems hard at the moment, it was a year ago that my life came crashing down in similar cicumstances to yourself (well not the London bit) but things have got better and I know you dont think that at the moment but its true,

He is probably enjoying his "freedom" but that will change in time and he will I am sure one day realise what has happaned and what he has lost.

I would suggest keeping with the work thing for awhile speak to your husband if you think you can trust him (that is something only you can answer) if not then speak to him about talking to your little one. I have two both one of 2 and one of 5 and both are doing well (we have a roughly 50:50 shared time split) although they obviously have their ups and downs (dont all little ones).

The key thing for you here is to try and rest make certain you are eating properly and getting some sleep and concentrate on your little one it is still early days in your separation don't expect too much of yourself.

Stick on this website it is very useful and there are some really nice people on here.

Hi JM. At 3 1/2 his view of life is very basic. As with most children just tell him that you both love him. Kids scare easily except teens. Teens are something else. C