Advice pls!

Hi. I'm new to the site and am looking for some advice regarding my situation.

I would like to start divorce proceedings. Only been married since march 2007 and have a 1 yr old boy. I work full time and am basically married to a pathological liar (he agrees!). He went to the States on an apparent '2 day' visit and is still not back (he left on 4th sept '08). Every time I try to communicate with him via mobile, he comes up with one lie after another. I just need him to get back so that I can start divorce proceedings. I do have an address for him but I can't guarantee that it is correct and he may just ignore any post I send to him. Since we separated don't know where he has been living as, again, he keeps lying about it. So I don't even have a UK address for him.
I consulted a lawyer before he went away who said that I would need an address for him, otherwise, I would have to appeal to a judge to personally hand over the papers to him. Unfortunately, I can't do that now either as I have a feeling he will be gone for a long time.
His 3 month stay will be up on 4th Dec. Can I report him to immigration as I believe he could be working illegally there? I wouldn't want him to go to prison as he is the father of my child, but I need to move on with my life and he is not allowing me to. He is aware that he has this hold on me.

I would really appreciate some advice .... Thanks.

Hallo

I can't help on the legal stuff, but I didn't want you to feel you were being ignored!

Lots of helpful people are on this site and I hope someone has some answers for you.

I think you have an excellent argument that your husband has deserted you.

Is your house in joint name? Do you have joint bank accounts? I'd start trying to sort things like that out first.

Thanks for ur email. I hope someone will be able to give me some answers!

No joint bank accounts, mortgage is only in my name. In fact, I'm the sole financial provider in the relationship, but he has claimed income support and used my address as his own (despite me asking him not to as it looks like we are not separated). He is also being sent all kinds of letters to my house which I have started sending back as 'not known at this address, opened in error'. I don't want him to damage my credit history, which he seems to be doing very successfully.

As DL has already been advising me on my previous posts, I have added some more points below for her as I would love further clarification please...

I have now discovered what my husband has been doing in the U.S since 4th Sept. He has been staying with a woman whom he met online. Apparently she discovered that he preys on women on a regular basis and kicked him out. He has now moved on to the next woman.

The reason I know all this is because the first woman contacted me via email (my husband had sent me a few emails from her pc). I ended up chatting with her for 2 hours, sharing stories and she confirmed for me something which I already clearly new - That he was not only a pathological liar, but that he was someone I would be very reluctant to leave my son with in the future (when he can speak) as he will potentially feed him many lies about me)....but I digress...

I have saved our online conversation which confirms that my husband never intended to meet his ex boss about work when he went to the States, nor that he had been in an accident which is why he apparently could not come back on time (it was supposed to be a 3 day trip - it has been 2 and a half months so far). It also confirms that he has been having sex with this woman etc...Can I use this conversation in court? (conversation was on Live messenger).

It is now also confirmed that the address I have for him is the first girl's address (the one whom I chatted to). He is no longer with her so the address is now pointless. I, therefore, don't know where he is in the States.

Apparently he does not have a return ticket - unless he manages to scam more money out of the new woman. So he may end up staying past his 3 month visit visa period (runs out 4th Dec). What do I need to do to process all my paperwork if we assume that he doesn't come back from the U.S for a while?

Can I file for divorce, residence order and relocation order all together? How long does it take and is this a costly process?

My redundancy will be confirmed this month. It looks like I will be out of work by the end of Dec. If I aimed to move to Jordan some time in February, is this a realistic time period to receive the relocation order (hopefully!) or is it much lengthier? Also, if I start divorce proceedings soon, do I need to carry on with this from Jordan?

I read up a little about relocations of children - It seems I will need a lot of paperwork - most of which would be easy to get, with the exception of a job offer I assume. How much detail will be required of me for the courts and do I need to appear myself?

Sorry about the list of questions! i have my 30 min appointment booked with NFLP on 2nd Dec at 10:30 so I would appreciate receiving your feedback before then so that i can be more focused during the appointment on the primary issues.

Thanks again!!

if you're still married and no court orders are in place surely there is nothing stopping you from moving to jorden? i would of thought he would only be able to stop you with a prohibitive steps order and seeing as he's not around nor seems interested perhaps you can do as you please? I honestly have no idea about what's legal etc just a thought that perhaps others can help with.

Hi Rose.

I'm not totally sure myself, but DL did mention a relocation order to me (I believe!). I'm just concerned that because I do not have a residence order, legally my parental rights are the same as my husband. I do not want to be accused of child abduction. My understanding from what I have read so far, is that if I move there without the court or my husband's consent, it would be viewed as abduction and if an extradition takes place it could jeopardise my position when applying for residence.

K x