Feel scared and alone

Hello, 9 weeks ago while I was at work my husband packed his things and left a note saying he was leaving me. the week before we had just returned from celebrating our 25th anniversary, he had seemed alittle distant but we had seemed ok apart from that. Two years ago he bought a buisness then went bankrupt, so I have been left with a huge mortgage. I have two children 21, 23. He has been having an affair for 6 months and has moved in with her, he now says he cant afford the bills as he is paying her half of everything, and treats me like a stranger, Im so confused and feel so used, I cant belive the man I spent so many years with has turned out to be such a B

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D.
i feel so many different emotions that I just dont know where to start, Im 46 and dont know where Im going anymore. I did nothing but support and love him and he dumps me as if im nothing. i KNOW im not alone as so many others are in the same kind of situation so joined to help and get support from others.

Im sad to hear of your situation and you are not alone there are lots of people in the same situation including myself.

You will get lots of support and advice on here what you are going through is Shock Grief and Anger and its a horrible experience you wouldn't wish it on anybody yet there are so many suffering from these selfish persons behavour.

Talk to family and friends and keep posting here your wont be alone. I bet your children are devastated as were mine but they hate him now.


Wiki chat is good to join too just keep posting you will get lots of support

(((((((HUGS)))))))) Chrissy

Hi Holly

Your story is exactly the same as for me, 10 years ago though.

We had been married 23 years had two boys 17 and 19.
He had been having an affair for about a year. I suspected nothing. He up and left within the space of 10mins woosh gone. Moved in with his new gf, a work colleague. I was 40 at the time, and we had just had a wonderful few days with friends.!!!! I know exactly how you feel.

Cowardice, uncaring and selfish, those are the words I think sums them up. Just when I thought that life was going to be great, probably the same as you, kids grown up, mortgage nearly paid off, lots of time to do just what we wanted.

The feelings that you will go through can only be described a a nightmare. I have to be honest. My ex left on bonfire night, and I dreaded the run up to Christmas. That will be a hard time.

I used to hate going out, especially up the high street, watching couples doing their christmas shopping. It is so hurtful.

The person that you have spent so long with pulls the wool over your eyes and betrays you.

Everyone here on wiki will help you and support you. It does help to write how you feel down, and sharing it, and receiving some tea and sympathy really does the trick sometimes.
I supported my ex too, the old saying, 'he did not get to where he is today' without me behind him.

He has gone on to have two more children with his girlfriend. Time is a healer, and you will slowly come to terms with what has happened. I still do not understand why he did what he did to me to this day, but you get over it.

I have remarried now, his ex wife walked out on him, so we both know how hurtful it is to be betrayed.

All those year invested, just gone in a puff of smoke!!!
Not fair, lonely and devastating.

Keep posting, pop into chat, they are a great bunch and will do all they can to support you through this.

Take care, chin up you have lots of friends on here now.
zara

Thanks my children want nothing to do with him and they have been so brilliant in supporting me, I love them so much. I know somehow I will make it because I wont let him ruin the rest of my life, your right xmas will be very hard this year, and it is so painfull seeing couples together ,at times Ive never felt so alone. Its going to help posting and talking to others on this site.

Hi Holly. Thats the spirit. Dont let this man ruin the rest of your life. You will be fine in time. Xmas is just one day. I hide on that day lol. Hope it goes ok for U. C

Hi Hollyett,

I am so sorry to hear about the situation you have found yourself in through no fault of your own.

I know how you feel.

I posted for the first time on this site yesterday and I definatley do feel a bit better after getting so many nice replies from people.

I am also dreading christmas. One of my sons keeps asking me to promise that I will stay the night with them on christmas eve and that is going to be so hard to do, but I don't want to let him down.

I find it unbeleivable that people are quite happy to put their children (and partner) through this just so they can indulge themselves in something that they are very likely to regret when it is too late.

Milou.

Hi Holly, your situation is similar to part of mine, and my heart goes out to you. Husband of 23 yrs - left me and came home 4 times, said no one else involved. To cut long story short, he had been having an affair for 7 months. We have two children 17 and 11, they too didn't want to have anything to do with husband for a while.
I agree with you, it is a long time to throw away, it is very hurtful to be dropped when you have been through so much together. All I can say is that you will get through this, and you will find strength that you never knew you had, and you will find happiness again. Christmas is a hard time, but it will come and go, and with support you will cope.
Keep posting and reading other peoples threads, it really helps. Think of yourself and those most dear to you now, you are important.
Best wishes