Feel scared and alone

Hi Holly, i'm so sorry for what he is putting you through, many of us here are going through the same thing as you are, we understand your deep sense of betrayal, anger, loss & confusion. I can never understand affairs, if a person is unhappy they should discuss it with their partner, or leave before finding someone else.
You are in good company here, keep posting, we will all help you through,
Cindy

Hi Holly

It is so hard to cope with this as everyone here has said.

The betrayal, fear, shame and pure unadulterated hurt is alomst unbearable at first. I heard the phrase "a broken heart" but did not realise that it felt like that physically.

All of this is enough to cope with and Xmas evokes so much for us all, but that is 5 weeks away, you may feel a bit better by then, try not to worry about the expanse of the future that is now different - but cope one day at a time if you can.

Your family sound lovely and a great support to you, lean on them and your friends at home (as well as on Wiki.

I at first (as I have read from other posts - so havemany others ) was obsessed with wedding rings and looking at couples in cars at traffic lights - thinking - are you happy...are you cheating on her/him?? - but it has got better.

The same will happen for you - but I know it does not seem like that at the minute.

take each day - and do something for you.
(((hug)))
Jolly

Hi,
I've been registered on the site for a while, just keep poppin' in and out!

Just had to reply to our post... i was married 24 years, two grown up sons, one at home... it's almost a year in for me now since finding out about the betrayal. I've started divorce proceedings... it's a journey, not one we would choose but a journey all the same, and with that comes opportunity... in time.

I remember well the deep pain, grief, fear...the enormity of it all!
I'm feeling stronger now and you will too... i know now those deep feelings of grief lead to a deep healing and growth... you're young! you have a rich fulfilling life ahead of you.
If a person doesn't show you love and respect then you don't need them in your life... you will be better without them.

I wrote poems, talked to a counsellor, friends, a priest... take help from anywhere you can... you'll draw energy from others to get you through.

I've tried very hard not to involve the children, though they're older, I don't want them involved in things. I want them to be able to maintain a relationship with their Dad. I didn't have one with mine... I want them to make up their own mind and to feel it's ok to keep their relationship albeit things will be different now they know about his affair.

Sending lots of love and light to you X