Only a month in a doing it tough

My wife and I emmigrated to Australia 4 years ago, things went well, but we never got over the homesickness thing, so we decided to return this year 08. I sent my wife and son(9) back to the UK on 22nd July (big mistake) and I returned to the UK on 19 September after finishing up the legal stuff. However, my wife phoned my on 5 September in Australia informing me that when I returned to the UK, I ought to go live at my mothers as I was not welcome in the new rental home, which I had paid for up front. I had sent my wife back to the UK with sizeable cheques to get our new life in the old country back up and running. Here we are November 12, my wife has just introduced my son to Phil and he moved his limited belongings in on Monday, neither my son or I have had time to get our heads around the current situation and I am struggling, I tend to have depressive episodes prior to the split and these were never truly understood those "black dog" days. Still i am slowly rebuilding it all, I get my son every second weekend, but I do get him more often as he is in the way of a newly developing relationship. It's tough for him and me and I hate been the 'Sad git'

U dont sound like a sadgit to me. I dont mean that you seem happy but you are dealing with the shock of this well. It must be hard mate that your home back in blighty is occupied by some bloke. Not good. But I am pleased you are being adult about this. This sort of thing happens mate and its how we deal with it thats important. The better you deal with it the better the eventual outcome. C

Hi, I agree with Marshy, you seem very stoic and decent to me. Your wife is very lucky to have been taken seriously in the first place and to be brought home. I'm so sorry this hasn't turned out the way you thought it would, it's a big upheaval moving around and sometimes it takes its toll on a marriage.

Please feel free to pm me (private message) if you need to talk. I've been through the emigrating thing and it didn't work very well for me so I can understand a bit of what you have been going through.

Take care,
Mneme

Stoic perhaps, but it's the deceit and the telling everyone I was an abusive husband who tried to control her that has done me in, she said she didn't love me and wanted out to my face, but I have since found out from various sources about the false accusation, had she put it into writing I would have sued for defamation of character, but as it's all hear say. She even told folk she had got an injuction out against me, I contacted the couts and they have No record, obviously. I can only call my father my friend, because the mud she has slung has stuck. She has destroyed my good name in family circles, the fact she has moved the new man in already, has made one or two think again.

Sounds like you are better out of it, sad, and time will tell as regards her conduct now. I'm sorry your ex is acting this way, it's bad enough for everyone without adding to it.

I hope your family and friends will come to realise it can't be so one-sided. She seems to have gone for the sympathy vote so far but as you say, people are beginning to wonder.

Stay strong, keep your dignity; hope things improve for you soon.

Sadgit wrote:

My wife and I emmigrated to Australia 4 years ago, things went well, but we never got over the homesickness thing, so we decided to return this year 08. I sent my wife and son(9) back to the UK on 22nd July (big mistake) and I returned to the UK on 19 September after finishing up the legal stuff. However, my wife phoned my on 5 September in Australia informing me that when I returned to the UK, I ought to go live at my mothers as I was not welcome in the new rental home, which I had paid for up front. I had sent my wife back to the UK with sizeable cheques to get our new life in the old country back up and running. Here we are November 12, my wife has just introduced my son to Phil and he moved his limited belongings in on Monday, neither my son or I have had time to get our heads around the current situation and I am struggling, I tend to have depressive episodes prior to the split and these were never truly understood those "black dog" days. Still i am slowly rebuilding it all, I get my son every second weekend, but I do get him more often as he is in the way of a newly developing relationship. It's tough for him and me and I hate been the 'Sad git'

Sometimes people like to take their lives into their own hands. Who's decision was it to emigrate?

You highlight the I's in my script, well those are the decisions I made after many hours of discussion with my ex-wife. When you emmigrate it is a life changing act for life, but my wife advised me she never thought of it as a life decision, she missed her extended family, I am sure the extra marital relationship had fallen apart in Australia and she wanted to come home. We both decided to come home, she chose to end the marriage, 2 affairs later I am glad she has. Cos I am not gonna be a door mat again, should she surface when this new one goes tits up, which it will as it only 3 months ago we were sharing the same bed, the sheets arn't even cold. Rebound I reckon, and yes at the moment I am quite bitter.