Introduction

Is there a guide to working out how much spousal maintenance I would be expected to fork up, I have used the CSA calculator for the CM, but I am struggling to work out the SM.

Advise PLEASE !

Hi SuperMario

You sound very level headed - already agreeing the split and maintenance. Wish my ex had been that amicable.

But if you feel there is nothing you can do by talking and sorting your life out then it may be best to seperate/divorce.

Try all the options first - it's not easy getting divorced many will tell you. But Happiness counts and if she is not happy - she may never be and you may be best to be apart.

And don't worry what friends think. They never know what goes on behind closed doors and at the end of the day you know who your real friends are in times like this.

Good Luck

Molx

Thanks Molly, I would love to talk about it but all she says now is she has made her mind up and that is that, I am gutted. If she doesn't love me any more then I have to accpet that, but it is hard as I still feel for her deeply. I am not sure what I did to make her feel this way, we have work so hard to get what we have today, I am feeling guilty as well as I must have been more stressed than I realised, but I dont think I deserve this!

I now need to make sure we both have a roof over our heads and that we can share the kids. I am hoping I can have then at least three days a week. We are planning to both say in the same town so it will make life easier for the the kids.

Regards

Thanks Molly, I would love to talk about it but all she says now is she has made her mind up and that is that, I am gutted. If she doesn't love me any more then I have to accpet that, but it is hard as I still feel for her deeply. I am not sure what I did to make her feel this way, we have work so hard to get what we have today, I am feeling guilty as well as I must have been more stressed than I realised, but I dont think I deserve this!

I now need to make sure we both have a roof over our heads and that we can share the kids. I am hoping I can have then at least three days a week. We are planning to both say in the same town so it will make life easier for the the kids.

Regards

Sorry to ask again but is there there a guide to working out how much spousal maintenance I would be expected to fork up if any as I have read all sorts of stories where some people about not having to pay or only for a shot period, I have used the CSA calculator for the CM, but I am struggling to work out the SM.

Any help and advise welcome

Hi, mario, I had concerns about this too, by the way IDENTICAL thing happened to me back in mid october, I now have to buy new clothes as I have lost so much weight my jeans fall of me! I have lost 2.5 stone and I aint big anyhow.
There doesnt seem to be any real way to work out SM, it appears to be up to a judge in most cases, but a general idea is that after a 'long' marriage, say 20 years when the woman has stayed home looked after kids and house, she could not be expected to just go out and get a decent job, so you have to keep her in a similar fashion to what she has been used, depends on earnings obviously, but if she was working and after a few short years after kids etc, you split and she has even gained qualifications like mine etc she may not get SM as she would be expected to go out to work.
CM is quite easy to arrange between yourselves if you can, its 20% for 2 kids minus 1/7th for each night you have them. If you can stay in the house, you will be finacially better off, I am in rented now and all my money is gone as I have started paying CM half the mortgage, life ins for us both and my rent plus living expenses. Have to say this is also when it gets difficult, they get bitter and hold back on stuff, like contact etc.

My STBX raised the issue of spousal maintenance at our mediation session. Previously she had said she wanted out of the marriage so she could be independent, but she seems to be changing her mind....no surprise there!

The mediator said Spousal Maintenance is a very difficult area and there are no hard and fast rules so we said we would talk about in a later session.

I asked my Solicitor about it and she advised that if it gets to court they will look at both the current earnings and the capacity to earn. In my case with the age of my children, and the fact that I have them at least half the time, and that my STBX has done lots of training over the last 7-8 years (which I supported her in) my solicitor said it was very unlikely SM would apply. She also added that courts like a Clean Break.

Steve