Introduction

After 11 years, two gorgeous kids (7 & 8), and working really hard with a lots stress with my job, my wife has said she wants to separate.
The are two colours to her black and white, she doesn’t want to even try and work it out. Things have been getting on top of me for while, and we had a big row (after a bottle of wine or two – not a good time to argue), words where said and that was that.
All our friends are in shock as we always work our problems out together. I still can’t believe she feels this way. I am getting people telling me to see a solicitor and others telling me to arrange a Separation Agreement and then go from there.

The thought of net seeing my kids every day if a frightening thought, I love them (and her still) with all my heart. She has agreed to sell the house and split the money 50/50 and I will obviously pay child maintance. I want some advise on the best way forward, any help/advise will be gratefully received.

Regards

Hi SM. Bet this just happened right? But it didnt. She must have thought this for some time and it just came out in an argument. But I would make sure that its realy over and not some dip that relationships go thru from time to time. I would set a date and have a long chat with her about this. Then you will know. Try and get some background to her decision. Like someone else, not been happy for a while, fell out of love etc. Then you can take a judgement if it can be saved. Marriages can be saved provided there is no one else involved. Best not to drink when you are having this chat. Try and do it so there are no interuptions etc. You know the drill. Then you will have a better idea. Going to see a solicitor usualy signals the end. And if its not over could just push it off the cliff. So save this one. Bon Chance, C.

Thanks for the reply, but she is a very strong willed and the lady is not for turning. I didn't really get chance to finish the intro as she came back with the kids from school so I just hit send.

I know I have been stressed for a few years, but she is dragging stuff out that at the time was not a big issue, now suddenly 5 years later, I am the bad guy. I think the trouble is I have let her have her own way to many times, so now I am going to look after the kids and me first. I have been reading other peoples stories on this site and god I actually think I am lucky, my situation is hell but not compaed to others(much respect to them). As we are still living on the farm until we sell as we can't afford any more cost. She is putting on this big happy happy front as she wants out meanwhile I have I to grind on and keep the money coming in.

Thanks again, this is good to vent!!

Can anyone recommend a good solisitor around xxxxxx areas please, I think I need to at least see what my options are?


Thanks

Hi Supermario,

Your story sounds so familiar to mine, I also run my own business and get stressed out, she does what she wants and spends money like no tomorrow.
She turned around in May and said "I dont Love You anymore" she slept in my bed for about another week, slept in my daughters room for 3 weeks, left to stay at her Nan's for a month, found a small flat to rent for 4 months, now moved in with a bloke she sold a luxury apartment to.
At no time did she give even a hint that she would come back or even try and make it work.
If she is still in the house, try and be positive and not let the situation get you down which is very hard I know but it's your only chance of saving your marriage, once she's out of the front door that will be it.
Good luck fella

It is beginning to consume me with worry, I need to pull myself together!!

I am not moving out for two reasons, 1- My kids, 2- Cant afford to until we sell the house, which could take ages.

She won't tell her parents(my are gone) and they came down this weekend and she invited friends down for the weekend!! I nearly imploded!

I am beginning to think she has a plan to drive me out, she is a tough women but I would never have thought she could be so cruel.


Thanks

Don't move out what ever you do, that's exactly what she wants you to do, hang in there