Cant Move On

Hi all,

I am glad to have joined and hope that someone can help with advice on how to move on when I still love my ex wife so very much.

The break up was entirely mt fault, I did not have an affair but I was incredibly stupid and selfish in something that I done and I know I hurt her very deeply.

Anyway we all have a story, I just found out she has a new partner and it has really hit me bad, I have my own business and have been unable to work for the last couple of days and I am unable to sleep as all I think about is her sharing with another. I dont know if I can or want to go on as the journey ahead seems too long without her.

Sorry to sound so depressive, I guess I should have been better by now as its been almost 2 years since we divorced but we had 11 happy years together and I still feel as much in love now as I did when we were courting. I wish I didnt believe me but how do you fall out of love?

I hope this site will be a help to me.

G

I think when your ex meets someone else you go through the grieving process all over again. If you are feeling very low and talking to family/friends does not help maybe you should see your GP....have you ever had counselling?? Use the samiritans phone line if lonely at night......you will get through it, but unfortunately there is no magic wand to wave it just takes time.
Thinking of you x

Kezzarick,

Thank you for that.

I have not had counselling as I dont think it would help as all Ill end up doing is spilling out my heart and crying etc.

I need to move on and all my friends (even the female ones) just keep telling me to go out and enjoy being single by meeting other women. That does not help me as I only want her and only ever did. My family just keep ramming the church down my throat as if that will help!

Thanks for replying it helps to know someone else in the world knows what your going through.

Hi Furry

i think the counselling suggestion is a very good one. You seem to be stuck in denail that the relationship is over believe me counselling will allow you to look at ways of getting over this. You may get upset initially but that is all part of the healing process. A lot of the times peeps try to block out and cope and don't deal with the emotions initally. for people who do that when the reeality hits it can be much worse. why not give it a go. i can honsetly say if helped me lots and i can also say i no longer care about the fact that my stbx is living with another woman. I think it is time you had help to put the past behind you and look to the future. A friend of mind also found a counsellor great in the sense she saved discussions about her ex to the sessions as she knew she was talking about him all the time

I think the idea of counselling scares a lot of people. If you had a broken bone you would get it fixed, you have a broken heart and a muddled head and so need someone to help you fix that!! I think most people who go to counselling spill their hearts out and cry....they are used to it and help you look at ways of moving forward and coping strategies. Don't just dismiss it, remember it is all confidential. It may not help, but may be worth a try. you can often get it free through GP.

Thanks to both of you.

Bettertimes, I wish I didnt care that my ex is with someone else but I do and I cannot understand why this has taken 2 years to suddenly hit me and overwhelm me.

I was better this time last year in my head and feeling positive.

I felt regret the whole time but had kind of put it out of my mind and was trying to move on although not ready for dating yet. Its just that this has really kind of made me face the reality of the situation and I really feel a deep sense of hurt and loss.

The next drama is now facing another Christmas and all the memories that go with that! I cant understand how Im being so weak here.