finding it very hard

my husband left me three months ago i suspected he was having an affair with a friend of mine but he denied it as did she
the denial went on for until three weeks ago he had stayed at my house one saturday night, as my teenage son has had a psychotic breakdown and asked him to stay, we were asleep in seperate beds ! when there was an ulmity bang at the door and the friend was standing in the street very drunk screaming that he was a ********** and that they had been "shagging every where for months " nice woman she then proceeded to kick his car and smash his lights (i found this very funny in a way and felt better that i was not mad and paranoid ) he still tried to deny it but eventually admitted it he actually said it was not her fault as he had lied to her ?
however now she checks his phone records daily to check our contact so he is no longer able to phone to check how son is and does not allow him to have any contact with me. The only problem is that we have a business together , a shop, which i have to leave as he arrives as she drives past to check.
When he left he said i was controlling i never stopped him doing anything, going out going away etc
Finding it hard because we had remained friends had a laugh and he still says he loves me but has to show her commitment i am worried about him i do not want my marriage to resume and am worried about the relationship he is going to be able to have with my children who are 17 (ill) 12 and 11 please advice

Hi

Ohhhh she does sound nice.She has a very bad jealousy problem and very insecure great basis for a relaionship.Everyone has a past and that's something we all need to accpet when we meet someone new.Don't you find it humorous in some way she needs to check his phone to see if he has had contact with you and drive past the shop , she gonna send herself round the bend her mind won't be able to focus on anything else but what he is doing , and give it a while you think he is gonna put up with that.

As for the contact with you well yes you have 3 children together that are always gonna be both your kids and he has the right to know whats going on with his kids and she needs to accept that.

My ex has washed his hands of our 2 children because she is like that a nut case who gets jealous , if he speaks to me or if he was to see me then we must be sleeping together erm no thx would'nt touch him now with a 10 foot barge pole , really hope your ex don't allow her to get into his mind the same way this woman has with my ex.No matter what anyone says it is my 2 children that have come worse off in this divorce and shame on the nutcase as she herself is a mother.

thank you at the moment he is in LOVE and feels flattered i have never been jealous maybe he thinks it is nice hopefully he will not abandon children as they need him to be there for them until recently he came to my house to see them now he is not allowed this is better in a way because he will have to do things with them and dedicate time to them previously he just came in had cup tea and spoke to them if they spoke to him and spent time talking to me i am worried though that they will not want to go out with him especially the seventeen year old as he is in the middle of a mental illness and does not feel confident enough to go out