just had the bad news

All new to this. Married nearly 9 years, together for 13, three kids aged 16-23, not mine but treated as such.

Had really difficult times last 18 months with business failures, teenage kids running away, home reposession, my bankruptcy & wifes depression.

Was asked to move out 3 months ago, she was stressed & didnt know what she wanted, needed space to work it out. Had 'I'm not in love with you' few weeks ago, but was told love you but cant see a way forward 10 days earlier, hoping it was down to depression. Since been rejected by her eldest and youngest sons two days ago & cant ask her to choose between me and them - its not right and wouldn't win anyway!

Feel have lost loving wife very quickly, my family, friends (all mutual), home, job (we worked together). Very hard to take & dont know where to turn as i didnt see it coming. We didnt argue, no violence, affairs or any pivotal moments that stand out.

Struggling to come to terms with total loss, i guess this is normal but its new to me.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

hi leeward,

welcome to wiki,

take each day as it comes, be gentle on yourself, will take u a while to feel ok.

its a process of greiving your going thro, not easy, but all of us wikis have been there, so know your not alone helps.

talk about it, helps to get thos feelings out, dont bottle them up, let the tears flow, its cleansing, (gives me a sodding headache mind).

pop in to the chat room for a chat, dont be shy, we dont bite, we were all once new to this and can relate to every emotion your experiencing.

heres a hug to help u on your way (((((((((((((leeward))))))))))))

you have to feel to heal hunni.

take care of u

mish

Hi Mish
I'm finding it difficult as the emotions come in uncontrollable floods when i'm not expecting them.
Not expecting it to be easy or quick, will try the chat room in a bit. Appreciate the hug, its good to know someone cares and to smile at something!
take care
Leeward

(((hug)))

Emotions will come and go and reappear, all kinds of things - a song, a memory, a tv programme can trigger them. Just accept that you have to go through it all.

Chatting on here can help, you may find it helps to write down how you feel or think.

I'm coping by taking anti-depressants (low doese) and seeing a counsellor weekly.

Apart from husband leaving to live with new woman my 16 yr old son has left school and is spending his time asleep or BMXing, so I have other worries too.

Not nice, but I will survive and so will you.