how do i cope

my partner and i have been together for 16years. we think well divorce but now my best friend wants her. he's taken her out for dinner a couple of times. any suggestions?

Poor you - must be very difficult. Not sure how much of a best friend he is ... and I'd bet that if they want to develop a relationship, even if it is just friends, then they probably will do just that regardless of how you feel. You could use up lots of time and energy getting upset, angry etc or your you busy yourself with your life and make their potential friendship less important to you than it is now. The quicker you broaden your horizons the quicker happiness wiill come to you. Ten years ago I was a ;gasgirl alone; ... I got out, made lots of new friends and got a new life ... not easy but happiness won't come to you ... you have to go out and get it. And not with your best friend!! Enjoy your life - it's the only one you'll have X

That's a tricky one.
If it were me I'd be telling my best friend to back off. You and your partner need to sort out your situation first. If you have decided that a divorce is the next step between you and your partner, I think that's it's only fair that you deal with that first. Honestly, if my best friend did that to me, I'd be questioning whether he was really my best friend, or a friend at all. He should respect the situation that you and your partner are going through and give you both the time to deal with it.

not a best friend at all, i would be mortified if a best friend - and i have several went out with my ex at all, friends at the end of the day should i think be almost more important than husbands/partners/lovers , they are the ones who should stand with you through thick and thin, so not best friend i dont think. difficult for you. and yes best to get out and make it unimportant but hard depending where you are in this god forsaken process stuff , hugs for you x rhi

Poor you - must be very difficult. Not sure how much of a best friend he is ... and I'd bet that if they want to develop a relationship, even if it is just friends, then they probably will do just that regardless of how you feel. You could use up lots of time and energy getting upset, angry etc or your you busy yourself with your life and make their potential friendship less important to you than it is now. The quicker you broaden your horizons the quicker happiness wiill come to you. Ten years ago I was a ;gasgirl alone; ... I got out, made lots of new friends and got a new life ... not easy but happiness won't come to you ... you have to go out and get it. And not with your best friend!! Enjoy your life - it's the only one you'll have X

I know how you feel. A family friend took my wife. But there is nothing we can do. I couldnt stop them. But if she wants him and he wants her there is nothing you can do. But what good are these people that behave this way? No good mate. So let them have each other. They deserve each other mate. There are decent people in this world that wont behave in this way. Thats what I believe anyway. C.

Think you need to be in the throws of divorce before he makes a move. But then its up to the two of them the end of the day.

I don't think he will remain your best freind anymore after this. Find yourself someone else and just keep away from both of them.

Molx