Hi - new member

Hi all,

Joined up for the great support and info. I've been married 7 years and my wife has spent 6 months planning divorce. She was just going to let the letter drop through the door to me! I've not been the best husband but had years of lies, text cheating, mobile phone chatrooms,etc. I stayed through all that and supported my wife. Now she says she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't find me attractive. I found out because i was monitoring her emails after i suspected her of cheating and found a load of filth on her mobile and emails. She swears she has never met anyone else.

I am currently away and have had to deal with this on my own . I have never felt emotions like it before and my self esteem is rock bottom.

Anyone had similar dealings with partners using mobile chatrooms, sending pics to other men etc?

Looking forward to the positive thoughts coming back and chatting to great people on here.

Thanks.

sorry to hear all your problems. join us in the chat room where there is always support.

my wife got friendly via facebook i think its the new way for people to find escape...sadly not always good.

Hallo

Sorry you are going through this horrible process of breaking up too.

I don't think it matters whether your ex-to-be texts or emails or goes out clubbing. They clearly don't want to be with you any more.

Yes, its a rejection and it hurts. You feel what you've put into the relationship hasn't been valued or appreciated.

Then you realise that if you aren't valued or appreciated you are better off out of it.

You will have the opportunity to find yourself, to redefine yourself and create a new, happier future, with someone else or on your own. Loneliness is the flip side of solitude.

Rather than focus on what I've lost, I look at what I gained when my husband left after 31 years together. I get the entire wardrobe to myself, I don't have to share the bathroom with him, I don't have to wash his grubby rugby kit or miss the film I wanted to watch because there's a football match on the other side.

I don't miss him and my elder son shouting. I don't miss wondering if he's going to come home tonight. I can do what I want without being questioned and having to consult what he wants. It's lovely!

Of course I have sad, low times - but I also had them when I was married. I am on anti-depressants and I am seeing a counsellor, but these are just tools to help me through a bumpy patch in my life.

I will survive and so will you.

I think NoRegrets has got it spot on!

The rejection is very hard to deal with but you need to think about what you have gained.

When my stbx left I started thinking about all the good times we had had and was feeling very down. But then I started to realise there was a lot about her that I didn't like, particularly in the months before I found out about her affair and I now know that I am better off without her. I no longer have to deal with her selfish and nast behaviour on a regular basis, the endless shopping trips and being nagged because I didn't want to go into New Look or Bay Trading or whatever......

I was also lonely as most of my friends had been through her work and I lost them when she left. But I joined a social club and have made a load of new friends, and my life is starting to get back on track. Yours will too

Good luck

Steve

TAL175, I sooooo know how you're feeling with the text chatroom thing...honestlyt...read my first post on the welcome page thingy...the way im TRYING to look at it is how often she made me so unhappy in doing this...end of the day it isnt very nice to sitting on the sofa next to someone constantly texting and not telling you who it is eh...you start to go insane...as for these chatrooms they just make it too easy sometimes..

ditchedagain wrote:

TAL175, I sooooo know how you're feeling with the text chatroom thing...honestlyt...read my first post on the welcome page thingy...the way im TRYING to look at it is how often she made me so unhappy in doing this...end of the day it isnt very nice to sitting on the sofa next to someone constantly texting and not telling you who it is eh...you start to go insane...as for these chatrooms they just make it too easy sometimes..

Mate, yesterday my missus took great pride in showing me texts from my sis in law who she said crossed the line..........but when I said "who is that mans name constantly in your inbox"......she wouldn't show me his.

I aint stupid. I was born at night but not last night.