hello I'm new here

Blackberry this is just the worst time for you, my husband left me after 25 years three months ago, already Im coping alittle better, our lifes are so woven with that other person we truely dont know where we are heading anymore, I had to take a month off work, this from a person who never took any time off, I just couldnt cope with daily life , it feels like youve died inside and just trying to carry on for a time can seem impossible.
Im now back at work and take a day at a time. Lean on those that you love, as time passes you will begin to cope better. You are a worthwhile person who deserves happiness, belive it. Im really sorry that at this time your pain is so great, people on here have really helped me, your not alone you will survive this and it will get better.

Hi Blackberry, you can get through this,I did after a 34 year marriage,divorce finalized couple of months ago.I'm definetely looking forward and not back.there will be dark and hard days but if you write down how you feel you'll get through it because someone will always respond and then you'll know you're not alone with your suffering, others are sharing and going through it too.the support you'll get will be beyond all expectation and it'll get you through this.

Blackberry

As you will see you are certainly not alone in what you are going through. I can confirm what others have said, that it does get easier over time.

On a practical level, I found that when my wife had moved out and the children were in bed I would look around the house and get overwhelmed with memories of my wife, which were very hard to deal with. I found that by re arranging the furniture and changing curtains it gave the house a whole new look and I was not getting so many memories coming back to haunt me. Several months later visitors to the house tell me how much nicer it is!

I also found that the memories that used to haunt me were of the good time we had, but by thinking also of the bad times we had I started to realise that the marriage had been far from perfect and I got to seeing that I was better off out of it.

I have now met someone else and we are in the early days of what is turning out to be a very good relationship. She is 47 (and yes I am a toyboy!) but I hope you will see that the end of your marriage can also be the start of something better, regardless of your age!

Take care

Steve

hi,this is a great site and the people are lovely so helpful. i like you am 50 - in fact 51 next month, and yes it is scary wondering where the hell you are heading, im in month 5 and had been getting much better, but still house being sold and not knowing how im going to keep to gether the aspects of my life i love, but i am determined to to it. sending you hugs, maybe we need an over 50 blog to keep each other going, though right about the 50 being the new 40, go with that one, i got chatted up by much younger guy recently , and am seeing someone, although very casually, nice to go out. it is so difficult with so much history and so much possible future changed and none of us know to what. good luck rhi

There is hope. where you find it is up to you. Oh I hear all the advice etc from friends, neighbours and do gooders ringing in my ears. But There is hope. There was nobody at a lower ebb than I was (oh yes there was I hear everyone shouting!) The one thing I realised was that my old life was gone. It took me a long time to realise this but with support from REAL friends I have got to where I am. I still lack a lot of the old me. You know the one who was worth something. But im taking steps. Some so varied it makes me stand and say ''what am I doing here''!! Im here because thats where I am meant to be at this point in time thats why. Others will join in with rebuild suggestions but here are a few. St.Johns ambulance or the Red Cross. A group called SPICE..look it up on the internet. Ceroc dancing. The one thing these 3 taught me was that nobody I came into contact with knew me and so took me for what I was worth...not what friends did...they knew you before. Its a big world out there and I'll say it again. Just because one person recons you are a B**** doesnt mean that the other 6 billion people on this planet feel the same. Go find the 5999,999,999 others !!! Take care Polar

Thank you everyone. You've made me cry, but in a good way.

Oh bless you blackberry,

let us know how you are getting on.

((((((((((blackberry))))))))))))), debs