Howdy...

Er, not normally one to post on forums -just read them.

So I suppose about me - married for 3 years and together for 12 since we were 17... it's a very logn story really but then everyones is really...

18months ago we had problems with her txting another man and lieing to go visit him at his house 'just for a chat' and we tried to work things out, didn't go to councilling, which perhaps was a mistake but it's what happened.

Anyway, came home back in August from a summer camp with a charity and she left me the day afterwards for a 'break' at this time I though she was staying at her moms house, which later was a girlfriends. We met about 2 weeks afterwards and agreed to call it a day. She told me then there was no one else and I believed her. A week or so later I get an email which was a forward of one she had sent to her mom saying "I thought you had a right to see this" - basically saying she's been 'seeing' this man since April this year and they've been growing closer and she's moved in with him. But they haven't slept together (to which she still maintains today - they sleep seperately - even though I'm sure they live in a one bed flat...). A week after we agreed to split she changed her name back to her Maiden Name.

We've just started mediation and to be honest it's caused more problems than it's solved but I suppose it has to get worse before it can move on..

I wanted a divorce on the grounds of adultery as my solicitor says I have a case, but she refused to admit it - now I dont really know what to do, is it worth going down the route of unreasonable behaviour - and was her moving out to live with another man unreasonable???

Anyways - that's the very very short version of my story - the only thing I really do know is it's all very sad

Peace & Love to all

M

Hello M and wellcome to the site, your quite right it is very sad indeed and a shame you need the site but the good news is much support and help can be offered to you..

I think your right petitoning for AD if she wont admit it is a waste of time and money, UB is the way to go and her inappropriate relationship is unreasonable and can be used in s13 of the petition along with other reasons such as the breakdown of communication caused by her spending time with this man.

((((madmic))))

I really feel for your situation. Like you it's difficult to believe that they haven't, especially in a one bed flat. Regardless to the fact that she won't admit to adultery, you deserve to be treated better than that. Let her get on with her new life, as much as it hurts you. Sometimes it's better to just walk away. Let her get on with her new life.

The forum is a good place to get things of your chest. There are loads of us that can give you a lift when you need it. They've helped me, even without writting anything just knowing that your not alone during this helps. Sometimes what gets me through is the fact that others have started new lives and are happy again.

Take care,
ck

Welcome! As a new member, I can share that in just a few days, the board members have positively impacted my ability to deal with my situation.

You are in a tough place, and if you dig around the board, you'll find not only is the Forum helpful, but the Blog...that's awesome because you can spill your guts out. I've noticed already it's a good tool for me to reflect upon how I'm doing daily and other members will post suggestions/comments about your blog.

So I'm curious...how did you get ahold of the email? Who forwarded it to you? It couldn't have been your STBX...

And yeah - the sleeping in separate beds...I've been dealt that line before and it was bull. Listen to your gut.