Where do I stand?

Hi Here is my story.
Been with my wife for 11 years, Married for 3. We have a 10 year old son and live in a small village about 50 miles from the city where we work. About 2 weeks ago she announced that she didn't love me anymore and was leaving and taking our son. I took the news badly and cried myself to sleep that night, got up and went to work the next day. On arriving home from work, I picked our son up from the childminder, no sign of the wife at this point. She arrived home about an hour later with her mum and dad who said that they would take our son to their house to give us a chance to talk, I readily agreed. As soon as they had left she started packing and was picked up by a friend within the hour telling me that she was going to stay in a girlfriends house. Throughout that week I was in contact with our son morning and night and through his grandmother made arrangements that I would pick him up at the weekend. My wife was contacting me via text to say that she was looking at a house to rent in the city and was making preparations to have our son transferred to a new school. Despite several requests all documented on text she did not provide me with either her current address, the address of the house she was moving to or the name of the school. As I had now decided to move out of this empty house as I could no longer afford the daily commute (She had cleaned out our bank account) I picked my son up as arranged and we went to my parents house. On the same day that I picked up my son I recieved a text message from one of her friends asking if we could chat. We met and she informed me that my wife was having an affair with a work collegue, it had only been happening for around 3 weeks and worse, the other man was a foreign national and my wife had indicated that they intended to flee the country with my son. I had already appointed a solicitor following my wifes revelation of leaving, now I contacted my sol again in a panic. We went to court and obtained an exparte (it was untrue that she was staying with the friends she told me of, she was actually living in the other mans house and so could not be served) prohibitive steps order preventing her from removing our child. Since I have found out about the affair other friends of my wife have forwarded copies of my wifes facebook profile showing her discussing having a right old time and joking about her leaving her underwear on the other guys floor. These discussion are actually between her, Her boyfriend and his father, sick right? Other posts indicate that this has been a regular occurance and the times when she has recently stated to be away on business she was actually partying, drinking and being with him, all the while my child and I were at home. I am back in court later this week to have residency hearing and I will be initiating divorce asap on the grounds of adultery. Can anyone give advise as to the following.
What chances have I for residence?
Can I demonstrate that she does not have our childs interests at heart as evidenced by the facebook postings showing that she was away from home for long periods claiming to be working when she was actually with her lover?
Are screendumps etc from facebook admissable in court?
What should I do next?
PS I'm based in N.Ireland

Any advise would be greatly appreciated
Thankyou

Why do they do it eh?

My story is similar in that my stbx told me there was no one else and that I was solely the reason behind our split. She also moved my daughter and son out of the FMH after a bust up two months after I left. She informed me they were going to her mothers which they did, but until she got the new house she had already gone behind my back (hence the bust up) to get. I did nt see my children for more than 12 days.

I will get my tin hat on here, but it seems to me that the majority of men and woman who have affairs are cowardly, but that woman in particular seem to be incapable of admitting to an affair?

I don't wish to offend anyone by that, it just seems to be a recurring pattern:unsure:

good luck with it though my friend, your not alone in here

Hi Injured Party

I started reading your post and alarm bells were ringing about someone else being involved then you stated it. I think priority is your child's welfare particularly if she was intending to hotfoot it out of the country. There are a lot of forums concerning the issues you have raised and Divorce Lawyer holds surgeries and can be contacted for advice. There is also a 30min free advice line you can ring.

There is tons of support on here but it is very early days for your emotions. Seek out the support on her and someone you trust, a friend, family, they will help you have clarity at a time when everything is very traumatic for you.
Sometimes we can make rash decisions when we are so confused.

Hey markg you are possibly right but my experience was finding out that my husband had been having an affair for 5 years!

Injured P, I really hope you can sort things out, reach out for support if you need it, people here will listen.

Take care

Q

Meant support on 'here' not 'her' sorry

Q