seperation

Hi just found this site and wondered if anyone can offer advice about my position. I am Brian and at present I`m married although my wife wants to seperate as she feels she no longer "loves me " I on the other hand still feel strongly for her and would be willing to put my efforts into resolving the issue`s rather than walking away we have three children aged 5, 7, and nine.The big problem I have is I know that without me being at home I am expected to go home possibly daily to look after the family whilst she is working or going over in the afternoon and watching the kids again whilst she works late.I also work as a nurse and feel that first and foremost I need to be home permanently not on part-time basis. The only part of my life I am expected to give up is the marital relationship I am expected to contribute time money and work on the house whilst I seem to be the one most affected by it all yet I am also the one giving everything to the house any idea`s
Brian

Hi Brian. Welcome to wiki. You will find support on here.
Have you suggested mediation or relationship counselling?
This gives you time to talk things out with a 3rd person keeping the peace & letting you both have your say?

Hello there Brian
I agree i think that mediation is the first port of call in regards to your situation, this can often be far less stressful on you your wife and your kids, they are completly unbias so will be able to advise you both on what would be best in the long run.
Good luck brian and keep us posted
xx

Hi Brian,

Sorry to hear about your situation, I know what you are going through and it really hurts.

Afraid there is normally someone else involved in these types of cases. If you can find out by doing some snopping it might help you get over your wife and allow you to make some sense of your current situation. I'm not saying a full blown affair but she has probably spoken/dated to somebody else and he will be there as a backup plan.

I know it's unfair that she wants a seperation but expects you to carry on as per normal. My stbx was the same. I bent over backwards but in the end she still wanted a divorce.

My only advice is to be ruthless and tell her what you want, which is no contact unless it's about the children. Explain that she will need to get use to this situation if she really wants a divorce.

I wish I had done this as it might of made my stbx realise what she was losing/missing.

Hope this helps.

Hi

Your situation almost mirrors mine exactly - we're now going through with the D - she said she no longer 'was in love with me' - also told me there was no one else involved - I try to believe her, but when one picks up a message on her facebook blog saying ...'should I thank the one who gave me the courage....' it makes me mighty suspicious. I moved out, and suddenly she's wearing more make-up etc - ??!!!

I too wanted to try and work through it (have 2 kids 4 & 6), but she wasn't prepared to do it - so I've resolved myself to the fact that she is 'dead', unfortunately I have to see her when I have the kids, which is bloody painful.

I too am expected to be with the kids until her shift finishes - she's a paramedic - and tonight, tomorrow nights I have to be here in the MH until she gets back at 10.30pm.

I have always paid for everything, made sure she and the kids were fed, housed, had clothes, holidays, etc etc - and she still expects me to do this until the final DA - she came into this marriage 16 years ago without a penny, and is walking away with a large chunk of the house etc - it's galling, but fact - I just hope that one day she realises what she has done

Try mediation, try to sort it out, if it doesn't gain the desired result for you, then at least you've tried, and can hold your head high having known that you tried.

hang in there, and keep on posting

dd

My wife has been hospitalized seven times for anorexia and for many reasons this is the last straw. Later I wrote my former fiance and she wants to give it another try. My wife really needs my insurance coverage and prescription benefits. Are there any legal remedies that can allow me to maintain a legal relationship with my wife for insurance coverage and still move on and possibly remarry?
USA