Time to say hello?

Hi , It will be 3 years since my ex turned my life upside down - Valentine weekend- and as my 14yr old is away I am free to browse these forums without distraction. It took me a year to sell and move out of the house as we had lived in it for 18 years, spent the first 8 years restoring it and the next 10 with him "too tired " to change a light bulb!!
Year two was spent in limbo in a tiny cottage surrounded by storage boxes and 2 big dogs. But year 3 has been the worst as I feel so let down by friends... I am now fifty and most of my close friends cannot return phonecalls etc yet still pass the time of day when our paths cross. These are the people who on a weekly basis arrived at my house to exercise their horses in my fields and then were fed and watered. I didn't even get a Christmas Card this year! I had been careful not to go on and on about my troubles but have never really been given the chance. Maybe I just feel stupid that not only did I give my all to my ex and didn't see the storm coming but also years spent with couples who can hardly remember that I exist never mind might need some help and support( Sex in the City friends they are not!!). At 50 , with a teenager and a very small family network what do I do next as the lonliness is creeping in badly?? Any ideas from people in Scotland?

Hi

first of all welcome to Wiki. This is a great place where you can talk about anything, oh and cry and moan and vent - it is ok!!!
Also there is a very active chat, where you can talk to alot of people about anything. And there are people from Scotland as well.

the lonliness sucks, but although you might feel lonely, you are never alone. That is why this place is great. I moved to England to be with my ex husband. Now he is gone, his family cut all contract and i am left in England with no family and very few friends (who are all work colleagues).

I am grateful for all my online friends. Other than this maybe you can pick up a hobby or take a class - something you fancy which will allow you to meet other people. Believe me I know its hard and I should head my own advice...but till then Welcome to the Wiki family

claudette

Hi

Tried to pm you but it went all wrong!!

I am in Scotland too. I have a house full of kids today but no adult and the loneliness sucks. I think everyone here on wikivorce will agree that it is the worst bit. It is like a death, friends are around you for the first few weeks and then you are left to get on with it. I am the only single person in my social circle so it is hard where as my husband has a new woman and has kept in touch with joint friends in a social way. the good news is your boy will be out of the "stage" in a cople of years ( I am a teacher) and I am sure you will find a friend in him. Boys in their late teens are funny, amusing, interesting and love their mums to pieces although they will never admit it. Take care Katie

Hallo and welcome

I am very fortunate in that my true friends have all been brilliant, inviting me to parties, for coffee and a chat, or a drink etc. I was also chuffed when a friend of both my ex and me came up to London to see me and said that although she's known my ex longer than me her first thought was "how dare he do that to you!" which made me feel so much better.

But I've also joined a new book club and gone to places like the cinema on my own to get used to it. I also try to talk to others I don't know as they may be even shyer and more nervous than me.

I've tried to keep my private life in the background except with my Mum and a few close friends.

But I do know how you feel. I got a card this year from my ex's brother. He's now 48 and I've known him since he was 17, I was his "big sister" for years. But he just sent an ordinary card, he hasn't phoned and I guess we won't be getting together as we used to at Christmas.

I take consolation in the fact that my ex's "friends" now seem to be ones he's met through his new woman, whom he's only known less than a year and that most of "our" friends have been much more concerned about how I am doing.

You always have friends here - and if you're feeling lonely, be your own best friend and give yourself a treat.

Hi life,

Welcome!

There are always people here and its a good place to come after any sort of separation and get support and friendship.

cheers

supers

Divorce. Moving, Turning fifty - all big life changing hurdles; no wonder you're feeling the pressure!

Are you divorced yet? If not - it is understandable that you are not coping with the inevitable change of life. This will happen when everything is sorted and you have the detachment from him. But you're going to have to extend your social networking a bit! (Things happen when we make them happen, or at least put ourselves in a situation where the possibility exists).

I have my loyal friends here still. However, the ones that don't bother are either incapable of knowing what to say (therefore they say nothing) or they were fairweather friends and not worth bothering about.

To answer the question: Time to say hello?....time to answer do it Liza Minella style, and announce
"Hey world! Here I am"!!!!!

2009 is the time to grow. To re-invent yourself as someone other than Mrs. XXXX

You spent just over one third of your life with that man; so don't allow the other two-thirds of you (the greater part) to be destroyed because of the events of the past three years.

There's so much support here from women, behind our virtual facades - we're all real. We're (mostly) mothers, and many have been dumped for some grass that is perceived to be lusher and greener elsewhere.