Old cliche, but this festive season has done it !

Hi all,

35 year old Dad of two (under 5's) from Glasgow. Not long found this site, seems like I'll be on here a lot for support and advice over the coming while.

Googled a few sites as this has been on my mind for a while - married legally for 8 years but our marriage has been effectively over for some time now. Was rocky before my youngest was born and that in some ways provided a diversion / focus to keep it going longer than it would.

I wouldnt even say Im married, I share a house with another adult. While theres no one big issue which has caused me to finally look into a divorce, it really is a case of "enough is enough" - unhappy, unfulfilled and miserable in my marriage which I feel is a little more than a sham and sad excuse for a relationship.

Im currently stuck in the situation of putting up with a marriage because of a) finances - both in terms of general debt but also due to our house losing value over the past year and b) guilt over the children - I cannot get over the guilt that builds up inside me everytime I think of being a "weekend Dad" - feel like Im deserting them even though I know that we would no longer be together as a couple if it wasnt for them.

Finally, there's also the fact that while I think we dont really have a future together, I dont hate her or hold any resent in any way - worried about how she'll get by financially and as a single mum.

Finally Finally, the pressures of "what will x think" - Mum, Dad, In Laws, Work - feel like Im ready to burst !!

Ive only been on here a short while and not really explored all the support options available but I will be doing so.

Its going to be a sobering New Year I think but I know I cant continue year after year like I have for the past few.

I have basically just sat down and poured my heart out on this thread without giving it much of a thought what word Im typing next......none of that was pre-thought of until I started typing - guess it must be how I really, truly feel.

My best to all of you going through similar troubles and I wish you all the best.

D.

Welcome to Wiki hunny,

I am sorry you need us, but glad you found us .

Chat is where we try to lighten our mood, legal surgery is where we go for specific advice, and the forum is loaded with support, advice both legal and practical..and even the occasional joke.

Look forward to seeing you around

Amanda

D,
Reckon you're about at the same stage as me. Ghastly isn't it. Happily it was not Christmas that did it (we had quite a good one) as my wife broached the subject a couple of weeks ago.

I am finding it hard to accept that I shall have to leave our happy family home and that our relationship is going to be over - to never kiss my long-term wife/friend again.
However, all will sort itself out eventually, of that I am absolutely certain. It's just a pile of c*** to deal with over the coming months.

Good luck and qulte probably will bump into each other on this site again, time permitting
S.

Thanks to both of you !

And I should have pointed out.....username is from the song "No Myth" by Michael Penn - nothing more exciting than that !

Didnt even notice your name, sorry

Amanda

Hallo and welcome

You need to talk to your wife about this as soon as possible. You may find she feels much the same worry about the future and perhaps relief that you acknowledge how things are for you.

Hi, first time I have been on this site & I just read your post & thought snap thats where I was 6 months ago.
I also have 2 kids under 5 & my husband (of a whole 3 years) has moved out & we are barely speaking.
I just keep thinking things are going to get better sometime. At least the kids are still happy, thats the main thing.